PunnyPoetress
Member
...funnier of both. bAlso, can you ...? ... Can you please also rate them each with a scale of one to ten with ten being funnier. Thank you!!
JOKE # 1:
A blonde married woman and a nice-looking man, also married, found themselves mistakenly assigned to the same sleeper car on a train ride across the country. The management could not rectify matters until the next day, so both the married woman and married man reluctantly had no choice but to share the sleeper car the first evening of the trip. The woman slept on the lower berth, with the man on the upper. Not too long after they turned the lights off, the man was a bit chilly and rather than go through the embarrassment of crawling over the woman on the lower berth, he leaned over the top of the upper berth and asked the woman if she wouldn't mind opening the closet and handing him an extra blanket. The married woman, too tired to move asked, "Well, we are married, so can we pretend just for tonight that we are married to EACH OTHER?" The married man couldn't believe his ears and after a moment eagerly agreed. "Great, honey," the married woman replied, "then go get your own f**kin' blanket !!" Annoyed, the married man's retort was a long, loud, and stinky fart!
JOKE # 2 :
A man walks into a bar just as the 11 O'Clock news was coming on. He noticed a young pretty blonde sitting at the bar watching the news, which was covering a suicidal guy standing on the 20th story ledge of a building, screaming he was going to jump. The man saw this as a good opportunity to speak with the pretty blonde so he asked her, "Hey, I'll bet you $5 the poor man jumps." The blonde replied, "OK, you're on since I say he doesn't." They sat together watching the news and, sadly, the suicidal man did jump to his death. The blonde sighed and started to get the $5 out of her purse when the guy told her he couldn't conscientiously take her money since this newscast was a repeat of what he saw earlier right after the 5 O'Clock news was on. "Oh,no," the blonde said, "I saw the 5 PM news also." Confused, the young guy asked her,"Gee, if you had seen it earlier today just like I did, then how could you have made that bet with me??!" Upon which the blonde explained, "Yes, I did see it this afternoon, but I accepted the bet with you since I didn't think that poor guy would have the guts to do it again." Now it was the guys turn to sigh as he took the blonde's money and strolled out of the bar.
JOKE # 1:
A blonde married woman and a nice-looking man, also married, found themselves mistakenly assigned to the same sleeper car on a train ride across the country. The management could not rectify matters until the next day, so both the married woman and married man reluctantly had no choice but to share the sleeper car the first evening of the trip. The woman slept on the lower berth, with the man on the upper. Not too long after they turned the lights off, the man was a bit chilly and rather than go through the embarrassment of crawling over the woman on the lower berth, he leaned over the top of the upper berth and asked the woman if she wouldn't mind opening the closet and handing him an extra blanket. The married woman, too tired to move asked, "Well, we are married, so can we pretend just for tonight that we are married to EACH OTHER?" The married man couldn't believe his ears and after a moment eagerly agreed. "Great, honey," the married woman replied, "then go get your own f**kin' blanket !!" Annoyed, the married man's retort was a long, loud, and stinky fart!
JOKE # 2 :
A man walks into a bar just as the 11 O'Clock news was coming on. He noticed a young pretty blonde sitting at the bar watching the news, which was covering a suicidal guy standing on the 20th story ledge of a building, screaming he was going to jump. The man saw this as a good opportunity to speak with the pretty blonde so he asked her, "Hey, I'll bet you $5 the poor man jumps." The blonde replied, "OK, you're on since I say he doesn't." They sat together watching the news and, sadly, the suicidal man did jump to his death. The blonde sighed and started to get the $5 out of her purse when the guy told her he couldn't conscientiously take her money since this newscast was a repeat of what he saw earlier right after the 5 O'Clock news was on. "Oh,no," the blonde said, "I saw the 5 PM news also." Confused, the young guy asked her,"Gee, if you had seen it earlier today just like I did, then how could you have made that bet with me??!" Upon which the blonde explained, "Yes, I did see it this afternoon, but I accepted the bet with you since I didn't think that poor guy would have the guts to do it again." Now it was the guys turn to sigh as he took the blonde's money and strolled out of the bar.