Really need help with a personal issue!!!

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glitchg2

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Without elaborating too much....

How do you deal with a very intelligent, charming and attractive sociopath who has a crush on you and will stop at nothing to get you, including mind games and manipulation. And you cannot avoid seeing this person, you're already friends with him, you know what he's trying to do and yet you still fall into his trap, and you even genuinely care about him as a friend.

Now the attraction is not the issue...because I have a boyfriend who I love very much, and I can resist temptation. But how do I avoid this guy screwing with my head and driving me insane? I feel like he's draining me. And I'm a little scared....although he's never physically threatening. In fact he's an absolute gentlemen...but that's a part of the game.

I'm usually smarter than this....I even have a major in psychology for crying out loud!! But I've never dealt with someone like him.
 
osu,


How do you know he is a sociopath???
Cut all relationships & stay away from him... there is no such thing as a "gentle sociopath"!
(but you know that already...)


Osu!
 
After I got to know him, I started noticing signs of being a sociopath (psych major, remember?)...so I confronted him about it, and he quite comfortably admits that he is.

I can't avoid him...we work together....or something like that. Sorry for certain reasons I don't want to say how I know this person.

And he's actually manipulated me into caring about him. I don't know how to stay away

I don't think he's physically dangerous....but he's draining the life outta me.
 
Osu,


So what do you want to hear Metal Kitty?
That it is all right, you won't get hurt, everything will be fine, you should not worry???
After all he is a gentleman...

maybe I'll just stick to my first suggestion: Stay away from him!


Osu!
 
As a physicist, all I can say is hm. . .

But seriously, in regards to the actual issue you were talking about: this information is so vague, I doubt anybody here could be too helpful.

How did he "manipulate" you into caring about him and why is it draining? Why can't you stop caring about him? You know that he doesn't return those feelings. If he really is a sociopath, he's incapable of caring for another human being or experiencing any empathy. Do you feel like you owe him anything? Do you feel like he deserves to be treated well by you? Why? What was manipulative about the way he made you care about him?
 
Sorry, I'll write more details when I'm not at work.

But I guess the main issue is that I was attracted to him...he knew it, and used that against me.
 
Make it clear you're not interested and get on with your life. Same as anyone else you're not interested in.
 
I've already made the mistake of saying "I find you attractive, but you know I have a boyfriend". So he knows there's a possible opening. And I won't lie...I'm VERY attracted to him. But I know I will never do anything about it. I'm just scared what he's gonna do. Even if I try to ignore him, he'll keep persisting...maybe for years...until he gets bored.



THe problem will be gone....and so will my boyfriend lol
 
Didn't think of that

Just tell him your not interested. If he continues escalate it (it is in the workplace I'm guessing)
 
Why not? Does he really need to know that you're attracted to him? Why can't you tell him you were just trying to be nice and you're not actually attracted to him (but you know, say it in a convincing way--sociopaths aren't particularly great at picking up on body language anyway, though, right?) ? Or do you want him to know that you're attracted to him for some reason?
 
Ok, so you will lie, then .

Anyway, either: a) he doesn't believe you, or
b) you're still thinking about it for some other reason.

You say you're worried about what he might do, but also that you don't feel like he would do anything to hurt you. What exactly are you worried about? I'm not saying there's nothing else to be worried about potentially, but it would be good to know specifically what you're worried about.

Maybe now is a bad time to be writing a lot on a message board, but maybe it would be a good first step to very SPECIFICALLY articulate:

1) Exactly what, specifically, has he done so far
2) What are you worried that he might do in the future
3) What are your actual feelings toward him and this situation
4) What have you done so far to try to remedy this situation.
 
I got it! Sleep with him, but be absolutely rubbish, and I mean absolutely rubbish. Chances are, he'd probably not be back for second helpings. Problem solved. Of course there is the new problem of all of us on MAP knowing what you have done, so make sure you have a pretty hefty bank account for pay offs...

Failing that, just tell him straight, you're both adults. Hurt feelings aside, do you really think he's going to do "something..?"
 
first mistake. a girl says that to me and i KNOW that it basically means " i have a boyfriend so you need to try harder." And i do and it usually works too. Now, if you just said "i have a boyfriend" matter would be settled. But together?

Way I see it, you want to pump him. simple as that. However you know you have a boyfriend and you know that the guy might be a bit on the argumentative side to say the least and, not being an idiot, you know that the "bad boy" thing isn't a good thing (imagine that). However, lets face the facts. Bad boys get the chicks and nice guys finish last. Is it possible that this is the very element you find attractive about him?

3 choices: One, you sever contact and get on with things. Two, you try to stay friends and things get mucky down the line somewhere, usually resulting in not being friends anyway one way or another. Three, you just bite the bullet, let him give you a good seeing to and then go on a natural born killers type crime fest and live happily ever after.
 
You let monsters into your life then you have to accept the consequences. This guy will kill your relationship with your boyfriend and then systematically destroy you. Enjoy the trip and if your lucky in twenty years or so you might recover. As the son of a sociopath I still have to work hard to hold my life together. One day I just told him he was dead to me and if I ever saw him again I would make it a reality. Psychopath trumps sociopath.

The Bear.
 
Anyone that i know? i couldn't imagine that there would be to many charming people in the Buck Sing class.
 
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