im 15. im gay. now i dont need any ignorant closeminded judgment. ive talked to people online and thought ALOT to my self about this, and came to this.
my father never showed me platonic love, so ive never thought of a father in the "normal" way as i should with family. no closeness. and growing up i HAD to find ways, unconciously, to get close to him..because he is my father.
so, yes, sexuality is a way to get close, and i began having sexual attractions to my father. i feel too much intense disgust and shame now that im 15.
i kno we grow into our sexuality from when were a baby. and at avery young age i thought of my dad in this way.
ive grown and matured and LEARNED alot. for the past couple years ive been having these feelings. masturbation, etc..but i DO NOT WANT THESE FEELINGS..
aside from the sexuality, i dont have good feelings towards him. hatred, anger, disgust, etcetc. hes very negative.
i put these thoughts beside in the back of my mind for a while.
*deep breath* THEN, i just recently came out to my therapist (first person) and said i was gay and discussed it. after the last session, THIS area began burning in my mind
omg i cant tell you how hard this would be to say to another person.
im really upset and distress. you cant imagine
HELP!
my father never showed me platonic love, so ive never thought of a father in the "normal" way as i should with family. no closeness. and growing up i HAD to find ways, unconciously, to get close to him..because he is my father.
so, yes, sexuality is a way to get close, and i began having sexual attractions to my father. i feel too much intense disgust and shame now that im 15.
i kno we grow into our sexuality from when were a baby. and at avery young age i thought of my dad in this way.
ive grown and matured and LEARNED alot. for the past couple years ive been having these feelings. masturbation, etc..but i DO NOT WANT THESE FEELINGS..
aside from the sexuality, i dont have good feelings towards him. hatred, anger, disgust, etcetc. hes very negative.
i put these thoughts beside in the back of my mind for a while.
*deep breath* THEN, i just recently came out to my therapist (first person) and said i was gay and discussed it. after the last session, THIS area began burning in my mind
omg i cant tell you how hard this would be to say to another person.
im really upset and distress. you cant imagine
HELP!