Small town gossip, a divorce and remarriage, oh my!!?

Lisa

Lisa

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As a health professional, I live and work in a town of 5500. I have a booming, busy practice and just moved into a brand new office in March of 2007.

I was married to the bishop of a Mormon church. Last February, I discovered that my husband was having an affair. Of course, the whole town knew but me. I filed for divorce, which wasn't finalized until November. It was an ugly divorce. We separated in March and lived apart the whole time. During the separation, I met a wonderful man who treats me like a queen. I didn't know what I was missing until I met him. Well, now the divorce is final, and we got married. Here's the problem: the whole town is awash with gossip about me. One, that I am leaving and closing the practice (nope and a stupid move if I did). Two that I am making rash decisions and shouldn't be trusted with making decisions about my practice.

I tried to keep some of the details quiet, and I tend to be an intensely private person. This situation is making me crazy. My staff is tired of answering questions around town. What would you do? A write up in the newspaper--"The statement about my demise is greatly exaggerated?"a la Mark Twain? Just suffer through it and keep going?

Please help!

Thanks,
Lisa
 
I would instruct your office staff to not answer their questions. It's your personal business and people who ask should be told that it isn't their concern. Your staff shouldn't be perpetuating these rumors either, if so they need to be let go. How can you trust someone to keep a medical confidentiality if they can't keep it shut about their own boss?

If you don't intend to move your practice it might be uncomfortable for a while but if you just keep living the good life, eventually people will see that there truly was no scandal.
 
Oh gosh my town is a lot smaller than that. One can't make a move without the entire town knowing! I got a phone call once from my neighbor, "just wanted to know if you knew that so and so is in jail".... things like that!

I would get phone calls that "I saw your son on his way to ............... during school hours! Did you know he wasn't in school?" LOL

I got phone calls from townsfolk before the police when my kids had accidents!

I got tons of advice from so many when a daughter of mine got divorced.

I know exactly who to tell something to if I want it instantly told all over town.

Tell the one you know will spread it around- how your husband broke your heart!

The gossip dies down after a while- they all move onto the latest thing....
 
As one who has dealt with a lot of rumors, I would state my mind on how I felt.. Remind yourself that it is YOUR LIFE, you make all the rules, you write your own book! And if you find the rumors still are buzzing about, just try to laugh it off, small towns have nothing else to discuss apparently because I am from one myself. Envy is a dirty, nasty idea that overcomes most people... those who can't seem to stop talking EVER, also wish their lives had a little excitement, a change in their norms.

Do yourself a favor and remember that you control your life, you make your decisions.. don't ever let anyone else make decisions for you!

Good Luck!
 
oh that is rough. Sorry about your divorce, and even more sorry about your nosy townspeople. I don't know that you should stoop to their level and write an article for the paper. I would just keep your business to yourself and tell you staff to do the same. Your personal bussiness is private and should be kept that way =)
Good luck!!
 
A Letter to the Editor might work, in which you explain that your private life is nobody's damn business.

How does getting divorced and remarried = rash decision maker? And if it's your practice, who else do they think is going to make decisions about it?
 
Sounds like an unpleasant situation for sure. Sorry for your pain. That being said, I don't think you need to place a write-up in the newspaper...that's only another log on the fire for people to further speculate about. Continue to live your life the way you do and answer honestly when people ask you questions. If it's too personal then simply ask them why they want to know. Eventually people will realize the error of believing the gossip about you leaving and they will feel foolish. This will only build your character as you persevere.

Blessings
 
Tell your staff to tell people to ask their questions directly to you. That way you can answer them directly. The other option is to actually move from what appears to be one of the craziest places ever. It is in Utah or Texas?
 
Exactly as the brethren do, do not say anything and move ahead. The staff should not take questions for you, they are adding fuel to the fire. Suffer through it. You have your good name to honor and protect. As an LDS I am ashamed of your situation. I have been in Bishoprics with great men and have loved it and would not even think of something like that. It gives all of us a bad name especially in a small town which I have Not been in. You are in a small minority and I am glad for that.
 
small town life sure has its drawbacks. You have a new life and a new husband and you dont need old dramas holding you back. Ignore all of them, you did nothing wrong. They should be gossiping about your husband and whoever he cheated with.
 
small town life sure has its drawbacks. You have a new life and a new husband and you dont need old dramas holding you back. Ignore all of them, you did nothing wrong. They should be gossiping about your husband and whoever he cheated with.
 
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