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Books & Comics
So, this character is kind of insane. Mind critiquing this part? I promise he won't
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<blockquote data-quote="KittytKeMeLt" data-source="post: 2471508" data-attributes="member: 831465"><p>get offended? My eyes opened.</p><p>I hadn’t moved from the place I’d fallen last night. That meant that I was still in this maze. Alone. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been alone. I always had some kind of comrade, or acquaintance, or girl…</p><p>My mind felt as if it had split into about five different parts, each ruled by a different emotion. Ha, the land of Jarret was governed each in part by the five Grand Lords of Jarret: Optimism, Pessimism, Aggressiveness, Fear and His Majesty Jarret himself. On the note, I should probably add that Grand Lord Jarret was regal, brave and extremely clever...an absolutely gorgeous slice of God’s finest creation.</p><p>The separate governors, or lords, or whatever the hell I’d called them, were having a conversation. Every one of them spoke through my mouth.</p><p>‘We’re still stuck in this maze,’ I declared.</p><p>The conversation that ensued was spoken so quickly that I could barely keep track of it.</p><p>‘I know we are,’ snapped Pessimism. ‘What were you expecting – a midnight rescue or a saviour? We’ll be here until we die.’</p><p>‘I don’t like your attitude,’ Optimism said, and I quickly licked my lips with a loud slurp before adding, ‘We’re clever and we can get out of this.’</p><p>‘Nobody else has,’ Pessimism muttered.</p><p>‘I’m scared,’ groaned Fear, and my voice cracked as I spoke. I cringed.</p><p>‘Don’t be scared. You’re so stupid,’ spat Aggressiveness.</p><p>‘Oh, yes, let’s all fight. What a good idea. That’ll get us rescued,’ spat Pessimism.</p><p>‘Be quiet.’</p><p>‘You be quiet.’</p><p>‘Everybody be quiet!’ I shouted, eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling.</p><p>A moment passed. ‘He started it,’ Pessimism muttered.</p><p>‘Don’t make me hit you,’ growled Aggressiveness.</p><p>‘Do it.'</p><p>I smacked myself across the face with the back of my hand.</p><p>‘We’re under attack!’ cried Fear, and I jumped to my feet. ‘Run!’</p><p>I sprinted across the cell, stumbling as I went. The wall lunged toward me. Blood gushed from my nose as it collided with the stone and I fell on my back.</p><p></p><p>He doesn't do well on his own.</p><p>What do you think? (It's meant to be a part of a section that doesn't make complete sense, but it does need to have a certain degree of sensibility to it...)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KittytKeMeLt, post: 2471508, member: 831465"] get offended? My eyes opened. I hadn’t moved from the place I’d fallen last night. That meant that I was still in this maze. Alone. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been alone. I always had some kind of comrade, or acquaintance, or girl… My mind felt as if it had split into about five different parts, each ruled by a different emotion. Ha, the land of Jarret was governed each in part by the five Grand Lords of Jarret: Optimism, Pessimism, Aggressiveness, Fear and His Majesty Jarret himself. On the note, I should probably add that Grand Lord Jarret was regal, brave and extremely clever...an absolutely gorgeous slice of God’s finest creation. The separate governors, or lords, or whatever the hell I’d called them, were having a conversation. Every one of them spoke through my mouth. ‘We’re still stuck in this maze,’ I declared. The conversation that ensued was spoken so quickly that I could barely keep track of it. ‘I know we are,’ snapped Pessimism. ‘What were you expecting – a midnight rescue or a saviour? We’ll be here until we die.’ ‘I don’t like your attitude,’ Optimism said, and I quickly licked my lips with a loud slurp before adding, ‘We’re clever and we can get out of this.’ ‘Nobody else has,’ Pessimism muttered. ‘I’m scared,’ groaned Fear, and my voice cracked as I spoke. I cringed. ‘Don’t be scared. You’re so stupid,’ spat Aggressiveness. ‘Oh, yes, let’s all fight. What a good idea. That’ll get us rescued,’ spat Pessimism. ‘Be quiet.’ ‘You be quiet.’ ‘Everybody be quiet!’ I shouted, eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling. A moment passed. ‘He started it,’ Pessimism muttered. ‘Don’t make me hit you,’ growled Aggressiveness. ‘Do it.' I smacked myself across the face with the back of my hand. ‘We’re under attack!’ cried Fear, and I jumped to my feet. ‘Run!’ I sprinted across the cell, stumbling as I went. The wall lunged toward me. Blood gushed from my nose as it collided with the stone and I fell on my back. He doesn't do well on his own. What do you think? (It's meant to be a part of a section that doesn't make complete sense, but it does need to have a certain degree of sensibility to it...) [/QUOTE]
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