nicole'sgotspirit
New member
This is just a little something I'm writing for fun on Worthy of Publishing. Since I love writing for the readers enjoyment, I would really appreciate your feedback on the start of my first chapter;
When a rush of people entered the Italian restaurant, 'Delizioso', they took their seats and waited impatiently to be served, and I had to be at their every beck and call. I loathed all of them.
After I approached a well groomed couple, I came to the realization that my designated serving area was completely full, with the exception of a table.
Oh, great.
I drifted expertly around each table, making sure I didn't hit a patron along the way. This was going to be a long shift.
Once every table had been taken care of, I slumped on the hostesses’ desk.
Lydia's eyes were full of curiosity. "So, how's the old girl doing tonight?"
Although I was only nineteen, Lydia liked to make fun of how unfit I was. "Not too good. Hear I've only got a week left."
Lydia shook her head and a broad smile flashed across her face. She twirled a strand of her fake blond hair around her finger. Lydia was gorgeous. Since she had gone from a brunette, her hair was currently a cross between yellow and orange. Freckles were dotted across her petite nose and complemented her chocolate brown eyes. Lydia had the kind of looks that made people famous; the kind of looks which made me wonder why she still worked in a dump like Delizioso’s.
Well, Delizioso isn't exactly a dump, it's actually quite nice. Lydia's desk and the dining area were a short distance away, and the elegant double doors separated us from the night. The wall at the back of the room was one giant window, which looked stunning on a nice day. It's not Delizioso as a place, it's more the food we serve, just simple Italian food that you could get at your local pizza shop.
A group of four men in my area signaled me, I exhaled loudly.
My pen and paper were at the ready when I reached them.
My smile felt and, most likely, looked reluctant. "Hi there, what can I do for you gentlemen tonight?"
"Hey there sweet cheeks." The man that was closest to me said, and something twinkled in his crows feet surrounded eyes. It was desire. "I'll get a beer and a medium Hawaiian Pizza."
"Any brand of alcohol in particular?"
"Surprise me." His crooked teeth were covered in brown stains.
"What about your friends?"
After I jotted down their orders, I spun on my heel getting ready to hurry to the kitchen, but something stopped me. A short flash of pain shot through my thigh as someone firmly pinched me on the bum.
"Ey' sexy, wanna hear a joke?" I turned back to find the man that had called me the disgusting name puckering his lips at me.
I transformed my glare into a smile and replied cheerfully, "No thanks. You're a joke all on your own."
Pleased with myself, I strolled to the kitchen and handed them the order.
By then, most of the people in my area had vacated their seats, so I was free for a few minutes.
I reclaimed my position next to Lydia. "Make that a week." I said playfully.
She snorted.
As a couple entered the restaurants doors, Lydia was making sure the stack of call cards were arranged neatly and plastered a smile on her face. When they reached her, I had to do everything to keep myself from gaping.
A young woman, shorter than my 5’1”, sauntered up to the desk. Under her foot-length peach colored dress, her hips swayed with an elegance that I could never achieve.
She couldn’t have been more than sixteen years old but the girl’s shoulder-blade length hair was naturally white, with thin gray streaks throughout it.
The odd thing about the girl wasn’t just her hair color, it was that her plump lips were lilac and her skin was literally ashen. She looked like a walking corpse. Has to be make-up, I thought. She was both beautiful and horrifying.
Her arm was gripping firmly to a male, who was equally as stunning.
It seemed like he went on forever next to the short girl, and I assumed he was around my age.
The boy’s dark brown hair sat just above his shoulders and clung tightly to his neck, his fringe swept to the side. His coffee colored eyes looked spectacular above his slightly wide nose. The boy’s thin lips had piercings in both corners of his mouth; I wasn’t familiar with the term, but I had heard Lydia call them snakebites.
What did you think? Please be honest. Also, let me know if you find any mistakes,
thanks in advance.
~Nicole.xx
When a rush of people entered the Italian restaurant, 'Delizioso', they took their seats and waited impatiently to be served, and I had to be at their every beck and call. I loathed all of them.
After I approached a well groomed couple, I came to the realization that my designated serving area was completely full, with the exception of a table.
Oh, great.
I drifted expertly around each table, making sure I didn't hit a patron along the way. This was going to be a long shift.
Once every table had been taken care of, I slumped on the hostesses’ desk.
Lydia's eyes were full of curiosity. "So, how's the old girl doing tonight?"
Although I was only nineteen, Lydia liked to make fun of how unfit I was. "Not too good. Hear I've only got a week left."
Lydia shook her head and a broad smile flashed across her face. She twirled a strand of her fake blond hair around her finger. Lydia was gorgeous. Since she had gone from a brunette, her hair was currently a cross between yellow and orange. Freckles were dotted across her petite nose and complemented her chocolate brown eyes. Lydia had the kind of looks that made people famous; the kind of looks which made me wonder why she still worked in a dump like Delizioso’s.
Well, Delizioso isn't exactly a dump, it's actually quite nice. Lydia's desk and the dining area were a short distance away, and the elegant double doors separated us from the night. The wall at the back of the room was one giant window, which looked stunning on a nice day. It's not Delizioso as a place, it's more the food we serve, just simple Italian food that you could get at your local pizza shop.
A group of four men in my area signaled me, I exhaled loudly.
My pen and paper were at the ready when I reached them.
My smile felt and, most likely, looked reluctant. "Hi there, what can I do for you gentlemen tonight?"
"Hey there sweet cheeks." The man that was closest to me said, and something twinkled in his crows feet surrounded eyes. It was desire. "I'll get a beer and a medium Hawaiian Pizza."
"Any brand of alcohol in particular?"
"Surprise me." His crooked teeth were covered in brown stains.
"What about your friends?"
After I jotted down their orders, I spun on my heel getting ready to hurry to the kitchen, but something stopped me. A short flash of pain shot through my thigh as someone firmly pinched me on the bum.
"Ey' sexy, wanna hear a joke?" I turned back to find the man that had called me the disgusting name puckering his lips at me.
I transformed my glare into a smile and replied cheerfully, "No thanks. You're a joke all on your own."
Pleased with myself, I strolled to the kitchen and handed them the order.
By then, most of the people in my area had vacated their seats, so I was free for a few minutes.
I reclaimed my position next to Lydia. "Make that a week." I said playfully.
She snorted.
As a couple entered the restaurants doors, Lydia was making sure the stack of call cards were arranged neatly and plastered a smile on her face. When they reached her, I had to do everything to keep myself from gaping.
A young woman, shorter than my 5’1”, sauntered up to the desk. Under her foot-length peach colored dress, her hips swayed with an elegance that I could never achieve.
She couldn’t have been more than sixteen years old but the girl’s shoulder-blade length hair was naturally white, with thin gray streaks throughout it.
The odd thing about the girl wasn’t just her hair color, it was that her plump lips were lilac and her skin was literally ashen. She looked like a walking corpse. Has to be make-up, I thought. She was both beautiful and horrifying.
Her arm was gripping firmly to a male, who was equally as stunning.
It seemed like he went on forever next to the short girl, and I assumed he was around my age.
The boy’s dark brown hair sat just above his shoulders and clung tightly to his neck, his fringe swept to the side. His coffee colored eyes looked spectacular above his slightly wide nose. The boy’s thin lips had piercings in both corners of his mouth; I wasn’t familiar with the term, but I had heard Lydia call them snakebites.
What did you think? Please be honest. Also, let me know if you find any mistakes,
thanks in advance.~Nicole.xx