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<blockquote data-quote="GinaB" data-source="post: 3004451" data-attributes="member: 128925">1.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; physician heal thyself&nbsp;&nbsp; 2.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; ======================&nbsp;&nbsp; 3.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 4.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &quot;There&#039;s no sign of the morning coming, you&#039;ve been left on your own.&quot;&nbsp;&nbsp; 5.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; -- As the rabbi said to the grocer&#039;s wife.&nbsp;&nbsp; 6.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 7.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 8.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; It was a dark and stormy night.&nbsp;&nbsp; 9.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I had a boner.&nbsp; 10.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Dr. Strom Thunderbold, pediatrician, was polishing his knife collection.&nbsp; 11.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Suddenly something came out of the kitchen. Or rather to say: Something came IN the kitchen, and that which came, came out of the kitchen.&nbsp; 12.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; It had a head the size of an Xbox.&nbsp; 13.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; 14.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; As the kitchen monster approached me I stepped back, with one hand on a knife, and the other on my boner.&nbsp; 15.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; The penis became erect, and he giggled maliciously.&nbsp; 16.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; 17.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; The good Doctor slid his knives back into their case and locked it securely.&nbsp; 18.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; 19.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; The doctor walked out of his office to see a man with a strangely erect penis and a monster with an inproportionate head.&nbsp; 20.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I took another step back as the doctor entered the room.&nbsp; 21.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; The doctor heaved a sigh, its sound muffled by dozens of tumors along the length of his trachea.&nbsp; 22.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; 23.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; The patients would have to wait.&nbsp; 24.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; It would be near impossible to remain conscious through the procedure, let along remain focused on the task at hand.&nbsp; 25.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; So I stuck the pistol into his ass, and pulled the trigger, shooting his intestines out through his mouth.&nbsp; 26.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Luckily, the Doctor was well prepared.&nbsp; Beanbags were everywhere.&nbsp; 27.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; 28.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; He made the first incision, hoping the apparitions he had seen in the madness of his youth would be there to guide him.&nbsp; 29.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; The beast opened its freakish excuse for a mouth, and ground-thumping techno started to pour from its orifice.&nbsp; 30.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; The scalpel fell from his hand, not yet stained in its duty.&nbsp; 31.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Still the techno roared out of his mouth with force enough to shake the world.&nbsp; 32.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; 33.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Returning to the kitchen, I opened the microwave and was shocked at what I saw.&nbsp; 34.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I had already told my neighbors to stop using my microwave to execute their newborns, but they must have been too high on CRACK COCAINE to heed my warnings: who knows how many souls were now trapped in the microwave.&nbsp; 35.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I had previously concluded via scientific experimentation that Loli Haet Pizza, but upon inspecting the charred remains of control group #4 I realized that a much darker truth was still hiding just out of sight...&nbsp; 36.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; First, there were our children to silence.&nbsp; 37.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; 38.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; The good doctor, realising time was short, strode forward to do battle with the techno beast.&nbsp; 39.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Inhaling deeply, he searched his memory for a song to duel with.&nbsp; 40.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Singing, &quot;We&#039;re not strangers to love.....&quot;&nbsp; 41.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; The beast, fearing its imminent demise and in a fit of desperation, ripped off its mask to reveal its true identity--!!&nbsp; 42.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; 43.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; The face of EFG stared into the night with a look of cold defiance.&nbsp; 44.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; 45.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; The extremely loud techno music woke Abraham Lincoln from his sleep.&nbsp; 46.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Simultaneously, M. Night Shyamalan leaned in through the bay window to deliver his classic catch phrase, &quot;What a twist!&quot;&nbsp; 47.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="GinaB, post: 3004451, member: 128925"] 1. physician heal thyself 2. ====================== 3. 4. "There's no sign of the morning coming, you've been left on your own." 5. -- As the rabbi said to the grocer's wife. 6. 7. 8. It was a dark and stormy night. 9. I had a boner. 10. Dr. Strom Thunderbold, pediatrician, was polishing his knife collection. 11. Suddenly something came out of the kitchen. Or rather to say: Something came IN the kitchen, and that which came, came out of the kitchen. 12. It had a head the size of an Xbox. 13. 14. As the kitchen monster approached me I stepped back, with one hand on a knife, and the other on my boner. 15. The penis became erect, and he giggled maliciously. 16. 17. The good Doctor slid his knives back into their case and locked it securely. 18. 19. The doctor walked out of his office to see a man with a strangely erect penis and a monster with an inproportionate head. 20. I took another step back as the doctor entered the room. 21. The doctor heaved a sigh, its sound muffled by dozens of tumors along the length of his trachea. 22. 23. The patients would have to wait. 24. It would be near impossible to remain conscious through the procedure, let along remain focused on the task at hand. 25. So I stuck the pistol into his ass, and pulled the trigger, shooting his intestines out through his mouth. 26. Luckily, the Doctor was well prepared. Beanbags were everywhere. 27. 28. He made the first incision, hoping the apparitions he had seen in the madness of his youth would be there to guide him. 29. The beast opened its freakish excuse for a mouth, and ground-thumping techno started to pour from its orifice. 30. The scalpel fell from his hand, not yet stained in its duty. 31. Still the techno roared out of his mouth with force enough to shake the world. 32. 33. Returning to the kitchen, I opened the microwave and was shocked at what I saw. 34. I had already told my neighbors to stop using my microwave to execute their newborns, but they must have been too high on CRACK COCAINE to heed my warnings: who knows how many souls were now trapped in the microwave. 35. I had previously concluded via scientific experimentation that Loli Haet Pizza, but upon inspecting the charred remains of control group #4 I realized that a much darker truth was still hiding just out of sight... 36. First, there were our children to silence. 37. 38. The good doctor, realising time was short, strode forward to do battle with the techno beast. 39. Inhaling deeply, he searched his memory for a song to duel with. 40. Singing, "We're not strangers to love....." 41. The beast, fearing its imminent demise and in a fit of desperation, ripped off its mask to reveal its true identity--!! 42. 43. The face of EFG stared into the night with a look of cold defiance. 44. 45. The extremely loud techno music woke Abraham Lincoln from his sleep. 46. Simultaneously, M. Night Shyamalan leaned in through the bay window to deliver his classic catch phrase, "What a twist!" 47. [/QUOTE]

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