Reply to thread

Message

<blockquote data-quote="AnimeeX" data-source="post: 2124271" data-attributes="member: 756595">Main girl is 16, her dad recently died leaving herself, her 7 year old sister and heavily pregnant mum behind, the main character feels it&#039;s her fault tht her dads dead and can&#039;t cope with the guilt so she struggles to look at her mum never mind live with her. Her grandparents own a hotel a few blocks away and offer her to live with them in the hotel, she&#039;s given a luxury suite with it&#039;s own bedroom, lounge, kitchen, bathroom and balcony etc. She used to attend a private school a few miles out of town but with her mum unable to take her there now she moves to the local school. Although she&#039;s the new girl, there are a few familier faces as some students live in her mums street, she hangs with them at school. They&#039;re quite popular at school so how will she feel when going from invisible at her old school to suddenly being accepted in the &quot;in crowd&quot;? She meets her friends in the hotel cafe before school for hot chocolate etc and walks with them, then meets them in the hotel lobby after school to have a laugh, gossip, study etc. A guy at the hotel her age is at work experience and they slowly grow a good friendship or is it relashonship? There&#039;s a guy at school who is always sarcastic towards her and everybody knows they don&#039;t get along because of the continuous arguing, but when no one is around the heat becomes too much and they end up sharing a kiss, but when someone comes along he changes from this lovey dovey boy back to the irritating sarcastic one towards her, is he trying to hide his true feelings about her? In the book there are several mini scenes and one if them is where she has a miscarrige with a baby she never knew she was carrying. Who&#039;s is it? The end of the book is where her little sister rings up saying mummy is crying but the main girl hangs up thinking it&#039;s just another phone call begging her to come home, but half an hour later her nan gets a phone call saying her mums in labour. Her nan and grandad drive to the hospital but my main girl runs to her mums house hoping she can catch the ambulance to be with her mum. In the hospital the memories of her dads death become too much and she breaks down in tears, but which boy is there to comfort her? Which boy cared enough to follow and support her when she ran off to help her mum? Then when the baby is born she realizes that her newborn sibling will grow up without a dad so she can&#039;t turn her back on them too.What else can I add to it to make it better? Everyone is saying it&#039;s too plain, please give me your opinion on the plot so far and ideas of how to make it better.Thankyouu if you took the time to read this x</blockquote>

[QUOTE="AnimeeX, post: 2124271, member: 756595"] Main girl is 16, her dad recently died leaving herself, her 7 year old sister and heavily pregnant mum behind, the main character feels it's her fault tht her dads dead and can't cope with the guilt so she struggles to look at her mum never mind live with her. Her grandparents own a hotel a few blocks away and offer her to live with them in the hotel, she's given a luxury suite with it's own bedroom, lounge, kitchen, bathroom and balcony etc. She used to attend a private school a few miles out of town but with her mum unable to take her there now she moves to the local school. Although she's the new girl, there are a few familier faces as some students live in her mums street, she hangs with them at school. They're quite popular at school so how will she feel when going from invisible at her old school to suddenly being accepted in the "in crowd"? She meets her friends in the hotel cafe before school for hot chocolate etc and walks with them, then meets them in the hotel lobby after school to have a laugh, gossip, study etc. A guy at the hotel her age is at work experience and they slowly grow a good friendship or is it relashonship? There's a guy at school who is always sarcastic towards her and everybody knows they don't get along because of the continuous arguing, but when no one is around the heat becomes too much and they end up sharing a kiss, but when someone comes along he changes from this lovey dovey boy back to the irritating sarcastic one towards her, is he trying to hide his true feelings about her? In the book there are several mini scenes and one if them is where she has a miscarrige with a baby she never knew she was carrying. Who's is it? The end of the book is where her little sister rings up saying mummy is crying but the main girl hangs up thinking it's just another phone call begging her to come home, but half an hour later her nan gets a phone call saying her mums in labour. Her nan and grandad drive to the hospital but my main girl runs to her mums house hoping she can catch the ambulance to be with her mum. In the hospital the memories of her dads death become too much and she breaks down in tears, but which boy is there to comfort her? Which boy cared enough to follow and support her when she ran off to help her mum? Then when the baby is born she realizes that her newborn sibling will grow up without a dad so she can't turn her back on them too. What else can I add to it to make it better? Everyone is saying it's too plain, please give me your opinion on the plot so far and ideas of how to make it better. Thankyouu if you took the time to read this x [/QUOTE]

Name

Verification

Loading…