Okay, so I am doing an informative speech on bi polar disorder
(what it is, symptoms, getting treatment, etc.) and I'm having difficulty with my introduction.
I'm afraid that the introduction I have right now sounds more like an advertisement for a prescription drug, rather than an introduction to a speech... lol. What do you think?
This is what I have so far (WARNING IT'S PRETTY TERRIBLE):
In life, everybody has their highs and lows. Our wide range of emotions is part of what makes us human. But what if those emotions start to get out of control, and make life difficult for yourself and those around you? It is then you might be at risk for bi polar disorder.
Then after that I explain what it is and all that jazz.
I know, I'm horrible at this (why do you think I'm asking for your help!)
I'm kind of afraid that I might be using second person a little too much, but I don't know how else to write it,and I've always gotten in to the habit of doing that, I don't know why.
Also, I don't want to be one of those people that begins with
"in this speech, I will tell you about blah blah BLAH"
I don't care what you say about it, but if you don't like it, than PLEASE give me suggestions on how to improve? I don't want my speech to sound stupid!
So uh... can you help me fix it?
Thank you!!
Sorry if I type too much... Gosh, it takes me a paragraph to say something that someone else could say in a sentence!
/done rambling now
(what it is, symptoms, getting treatment, etc.) and I'm having difficulty with my introduction.
I'm afraid that the introduction I have right now sounds more like an advertisement for a prescription drug, rather than an introduction to a speech... lol. What do you think?
This is what I have so far (WARNING IT'S PRETTY TERRIBLE):
In life, everybody has their highs and lows. Our wide range of emotions is part of what makes us human. But what if those emotions start to get out of control, and make life difficult for yourself and those around you? It is then you might be at risk for bi polar disorder.
Then after that I explain what it is and all that jazz.
I know, I'm horrible at this (why do you think I'm asking for your help!)
I'm kind of afraid that I might be using second person a little too much, but I don't know how else to write it,and I've always gotten in to the habit of doing that, I don't know why.
Also, I don't want to be one of those people that begins with
"in this speech, I will tell you about blah blah BLAH"
I don't care what you say about it, but if you don't like it, than PLEASE give me suggestions on how to improve? I don't want my speech to sound stupid!
So uh... can you help me fix it?
Thank you!!
Sorry if I type too much... Gosh, it takes me a paragraph to say something that someone else could say in a sentence!
/done rambling now