...a boring life? I'm really concerned about this online friend of mine. He's 21 and I'm 16 (we're both male) and he is never happy with his life.
It seems like all he does is sits in front of the computer and chats with people, and if I don't go online for a day or 2, he sends the offline messages and says that he is bored and his life is boring. I've tried to explain him indirectly that it's not the way. He is going to be a teacher soon and he goes to University, and even once in a while, he'd tell me that he has exam and has to study, but would rather chat with me instead.
This is just going to affect him... and I'll always be there for him if he needs me, but I don't want him to depend on me or on anyone else to keep him entertained. It's his life, and we have ours. He is very nice, generous and helpful and is always willing to cheer me up, and I do that for him too, but when he says things like he misses me a lot, or his life is boring because his online friends don't talk to him, I feel really sad...and it seems like he only has a few friends.
Just today when I signed in after 3 days, I get a message from him. He said that his life is boring because me and another online friend of his weren't online.
I had my reasons, and his other friend was too busy watching some episodes of some show.
So in reply, (actually a very LONG reply) saying that he is responsible for making his life so boring and he should get off the computer and do something different. He should stop depending on us because we have lives too and our lives don't revolve around his, and so he needs to keep himself occupied somehow...either by meeting new people, or involving himself in social services (he's very social and cares a lot about people). I suggested spending time with the kids in his local orphanage or with the people in the old-age home, and I'm sure he will benefit from it. I also said that he needs to take a break and take a day off and spend it with himself.
I still didn't get a reply (I just sent the message and he's offline now) but I just hope he doesn't take it badly, because I worry about him and said all that as a friend. I don't want him to depend on us for his entertainment, because we have to deal with our own problems, and we also have other friends (I'm currently trying to help another friend who is suicidal) and I'm also very stressed due to my exams and other family matters.
I think I was a bit too harsh on him, but thought it was necessary. I just couldn't think of any other way of letting him know how I feel, or how his other friends feel. We are very close and I don't want to hurt him, yet I send the messages. Now I feel really bad about it, and am sort of angry with myself.
Do you think I was too harsh, and if he doesn't take it well, how can I make it up to him?
I'm gonna apologize to him the next time I see him online (that's probably after a few weeks or so, since I have got some things to deal with now)
It seems like all he does is sits in front of the computer and chats with people, and if I don't go online for a day or 2, he sends the offline messages and says that he is bored and his life is boring. I've tried to explain him indirectly that it's not the way. He is going to be a teacher soon and he goes to University, and even once in a while, he'd tell me that he has exam and has to study, but would rather chat with me instead.
This is just going to affect him... and I'll always be there for him if he needs me, but I don't want him to depend on me or on anyone else to keep him entertained. It's his life, and we have ours. He is very nice, generous and helpful and is always willing to cheer me up, and I do that for him too, but when he says things like he misses me a lot, or his life is boring because his online friends don't talk to him, I feel really sad...and it seems like he only has a few friends.
Just today when I signed in after 3 days, I get a message from him. He said that his life is boring because me and another online friend of his weren't online.
I had my reasons, and his other friend was too busy watching some episodes of some show.
So in reply, (actually a very LONG reply) saying that he is responsible for making his life so boring and he should get off the computer and do something different. He should stop depending on us because we have lives too and our lives don't revolve around his, and so he needs to keep himself occupied somehow...either by meeting new people, or involving himself in social services (he's very social and cares a lot about people). I suggested spending time with the kids in his local orphanage or with the people in the old-age home, and I'm sure he will benefit from it. I also said that he needs to take a break and take a day off and spend it with himself.
I still didn't get a reply (I just sent the message and he's offline now) but I just hope he doesn't take it badly, because I worry about him and said all that as a friend. I don't want him to depend on us for his entertainment, because we have to deal with our own problems, and we also have other friends (I'm currently trying to help another friend who is suicidal) and I'm also very stressed due to my exams and other family matters.
I think I was a bit too harsh on him, but thought it was necessary. I just couldn't think of any other way of letting him know how I feel, or how his other friends feel. We are very close and I don't want to hurt him, yet I send the messages. Now I feel really bad about it, and am sort of angry with myself.
Do you think I was too harsh, and if he doesn't take it well, how can I make it up to him?
I'm gonna apologize to him the next time I see him online (that's probably after a few weeks or so, since I have got some things to deal with now)