What are some funny puns?

R

Rhombicuboctahedron

New member
What is Bill Gates favorite flavor of ice cream?
Fresh mint
In medieval times during a drought 80 upper class people, half male and half female, did a rain dance, and it rained for forty dames and forty knights.
A topologist walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender,
being a number theorist, says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve
topologists here."

What is Bill Gates favorite flavor of ice cream? Fresh mint
In medieval times during a drought 80 upperclass people, half male and half female, did a rain dance, and it rained for forty dames and forty knights.


A topologist walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender,
being a number theorist, says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve
topologists here."
The disgruntled topologist walks outside, but then gets an idea and
performs Dahn surgery upon herself. She walks into the bar, and the
bartender, who does not recognize her since she is now a different
manifold, serves her a drink. However, the bartender thinks she looks
familiar, or at least locally similar, and asks, "Aren't you that
topologist that just came in here?"

To which she responds, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
 
T

Thephilosopher

New member
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, not only are you a mile away from him, but you've got his shoes as well.

I don't like sharp knife jokes, to be blunt (Life without knives puns - pointless!)

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I'd like a glass of H2O please."
The other scientist, not wishing to be outdone, says, "I'll have a glass of H2O too."
The second scientist died.


Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Why don't people like high-pitched sounds? Because it Mega-Hertz.


I tried to do some sum today but it came to naught.


My attempt to rob the grocery store - fruitless.

Last night I spent all night wondering where the sun had gone.
Then it dawned on me.
 
J

jerryb1

New member
Use the source for a ton more.


1. Whoever invented the girdle got a bum wrap.
Matthew - Pittsburgh

2.Forklift operators do not care for puns - they find them unpalletable.
Dylan - Saint Helens, Oregon

3.The place to trade dresses is called a frock exchange.
Joseph Leff - Florida

4.The hypnotist went out of business because he ran out of suggestions.
Adele - Bohemia, NY

5.It's raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn't reindeer.
Juls - Sweden

6.A crow is a four-letter bird.
Joseph Leff - Florida

7.The dairy farmer while milking his cow strained his calf in the process.
Matt Vienoski

8.I'm just off to see my shrink - hope to be back shortly!
Scrabble817 - Woking, England

9.I wanted to do some research on anorexia, so I went to the library to get the skinny.
M.D. in the D of Michigan

10.Mathematicians are sum worshippers.
Joseph Leff - Florida
 
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