KittytKeMeLt
New member
The book switches POV from character to character. In it, "Leah" is the good one and "Zeth" is the villain. They're mortal enemies, so one has to eventually kill the other. Here's the end, I just wrote the first draft of it:
Leah lay there on the stony ground, hands scrabbling to find something to hold onto. Something was gurgling in her throat when she breathed and her skin was streaked with blood. The degree of pain in her eyes was alarming and for a moment all I could do was stand and stare.
What was I meant to do? I knew that one of us had to die, otherwise this would all have been for nothing. Wasn’t this what I had spent so long dreaming about? Wasn’t this what I had aimed for? Wasn’t this the reason why I’d pushed through all the dangers, all the struggles, all the bloodshed and fear and hardship? She was born to be my enemy. Yet I could not stand to see her in so much pain.
She turned her gaze toward me, and that was when I saw the tears pooling in her pained eyes. She seemed so young, so vulnerable. I had to help.
I walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder, aware that I was comforting my mortal enemy. She clutched my arm and squeezed tight as if to help fight her agony. A gurgling sob escaped her lips.
‘What?’ I asked quietly.
She choked for a moment, then managed to say, ‘Zeth, I’ve lost.’
‘No.’ Why was I protesting?
‘I feel…cold. I...I think I’m dying,’ she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. ‘God, I think I am. I’m so scared.’
‘Leah!’ I didn’t mean to shout, but the words left my mouth before I could stop them. ‘Leah, the King is dead. You’ve won. Your people have won!!’
And as I said it, I knew it was true. Her people triumphed over mine. My Kingdom was gone, my master was dead, my people were doomed. I was the one who was meant to die, not her!
Her eyes were beginning to glaze over. I grabbed both her shoulders.
‘Leah, I surrender!’ I shouted, and forced myself to say it again. ‘I surrender! The war is yours! Your people have won the battle, you’ve killed the King! I’m the one that’s meant to die, not you!’
She coughed violently and something caught in her throat. Struggling to breathe, she gripped my arm so tight that her nails pierced my skin and blood welled up on my arm. I didn’t care. Something suddenly felt so wrong about this whole thing. Why wasn’t I pleased that she was dying?
She was in so much pain! The way her eyes were shining was going to haunt me unless I did something soon…
She was thinking along the same lines. She struggled to clear her throat and gripped my arm with her other hand.
‘Zeth, please speed it up,’ she pleaded. ‘You’re meant to end me. You’re meant to kill me. Just do it.’
‘What?’
‘You defeat me, Zeth! It’s meant to happen! I know it is!’
The tone in her voice stunned me. She spoke with such sincerity, such confidence, that I didn’t doubt her words for a second. Besides, wasn’t this what I always dreamed of – wasn’t it what I always wanted?
I took a dagger from its sheath and she stared at the metal. I wondered how it felt to see the weapon that would kill her. I wondered if she was imagining the touch of the steel, the way it would cut through her skin. Did she wonder how long it would take to die?
I didn’t want her to think about it. Slowly, I positioned the dagger over her heart. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back.
‘I’m on my way, mum,’ she whispered.
I took her hand. I focused on my breathing. I tried to slow my heartbeat. The hand holding the blade shook, and I knew it would be cruel to keep her waiting for much longer. She was in so much pain, after all. This was destined to happen.
I struck.
Leah gasped. Her grip loosened on my arm. Then her body went limp, and she was finally still.
Leah lay there on the stony ground, hands scrabbling to find something to hold onto. Something was gurgling in her throat when she breathed and her skin was streaked with blood. The degree of pain in her eyes was alarming and for a moment all I could do was stand and stare.
What was I meant to do? I knew that one of us had to die, otherwise this would all have been for nothing. Wasn’t this what I had spent so long dreaming about? Wasn’t this what I had aimed for? Wasn’t this the reason why I’d pushed through all the dangers, all the struggles, all the bloodshed and fear and hardship? She was born to be my enemy. Yet I could not stand to see her in so much pain.
She turned her gaze toward me, and that was when I saw the tears pooling in her pained eyes. She seemed so young, so vulnerable. I had to help.
I walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder, aware that I was comforting my mortal enemy. She clutched my arm and squeezed tight as if to help fight her agony. A gurgling sob escaped her lips.
‘What?’ I asked quietly.
She choked for a moment, then managed to say, ‘Zeth, I’ve lost.’
‘No.’ Why was I protesting?
‘I feel…cold. I...I think I’m dying,’ she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. ‘God, I think I am. I’m so scared.’
‘Leah!’ I didn’t mean to shout, but the words left my mouth before I could stop them. ‘Leah, the King is dead. You’ve won. Your people have won!!’
And as I said it, I knew it was true. Her people triumphed over mine. My Kingdom was gone, my master was dead, my people were doomed. I was the one who was meant to die, not her!
Her eyes were beginning to glaze over. I grabbed both her shoulders.
‘Leah, I surrender!’ I shouted, and forced myself to say it again. ‘I surrender! The war is yours! Your people have won the battle, you’ve killed the King! I’m the one that’s meant to die, not you!’
She coughed violently and something caught in her throat. Struggling to breathe, she gripped my arm so tight that her nails pierced my skin and blood welled up on my arm. I didn’t care. Something suddenly felt so wrong about this whole thing. Why wasn’t I pleased that she was dying?
She was in so much pain! The way her eyes were shining was going to haunt me unless I did something soon…
She was thinking along the same lines. She struggled to clear her throat and gripped my arm with her other hand.
‘Zeth, please speed it up,’ she pleaded. ‘You’re meant to end me. You’re meant to kill me. Just do it.’
‘What?’
‘You defeat me, Zeth! It’s meant to happen! I know it is!’
The tone in her voice stunned me. She spoke with such sincerity, such confidence, that I didn’t doubt her words for a second. Besides, wasn’t this what I always dreamed of – wasn’t it what I always wanted?
I took a dagger from its sheath and she stared at the metal. I wondered how it felt to see the weapon that would kill her. I wondered if she was imagining the touch of the steel, the way it would cut through her skin. Did she wonder how long it would take to die?
I didn’t want her to think about it. Slowly, I positioned the dagger over her heart. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back.
‘I’m on my way, mum,’ she whispered.
I took her hand. I focused on my breathing. I tried to slow my heartbeat. The hand holding the blade shook, and I knew it would be cruel to keep her waiting for much longer. She was in so much pain, after all. This was destined to happen.
I struck.
Leah gasped. Her grip loosened on my arm. Then her body went limp, and she was finally still.