What should i say to my friend about my sexuality...?

[MjFelix]

..or should i tell at all. Okay here is the story. My friend and I have had "flings" for about 5-6 years. He always says he's straight, and i do to ( even though now i know im gay) anyways he is coming over this weekend, and he obviously wants to mess around. The thing is, now that i've come to term with my gayness, i don't want to mess around unless its my boyfriend(which i don't have since i have not come out to anyone but myself). NO one know i'm gay, but should i tell him when he's over? Help?
I wouldn't really say i have feelings for him though. He's more of a determination of my gayness. I personally believe he's bi. I don't love him, and he don't love me, we just mess around. haha. Mebbe if i come out to him though that could change
@drok- haha thanks for the hot story comment
@xio- ya i doubt he's straight, bi for sure, gay is questionable
and @dk- Thanks! that is exactly what i hoped to hear

 

[dkflwr]

Sounds like you're one step ahead of him, in that even though you aren't out to others, you're at least out to yourself. That's huge. Good job. I just really find it hard to believe he's straight, if you guys have been messing around for that long. Bi, maybe.

You've already determined one thing for yourself, that you don't want to have sex/fool around with someone without the benefit of a relationship. I think you could say that to him. Tell him that you have enjoyed your fun together, but that your life is going in a different direction, and that you want to reserve that for relationships where emotions and commitment are openly involved.

Just see what he says to that. If he doesn't want to lose you, he's going to have to think about his stance. And that's good enough for now.