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Message: <blockquote data-quote="kapnkrunch" data-source="post: 2671197" data-attributes="member: 902063">I am in a LDR with the love of my life. During our relationship, I made the crucial mistake of letting another man get between the two of us. The first time was when this other man was drunk at a party and he convinced me to stay in a room alone with him because he wanted to teach me how to play a song on the guitar. He ended up fooling around with me although I had tried pushing him away the whole time and then eventually left the room (we hadn't gone all the way though). I felt so guilty, my boyfriend was states away and having a stressful time in his life, so I told him a partial bit of the truth- that this other man only tried to kiss me. I didn't want to add on to his stresses until things got better with him.    The other man profusely apologized to me about his actions and blamed it all on the alcohol. I can be a very passive and forgiving person, so I told him it was fine and to forget about everything because that is what I wanted to do. I cut off all connections with him then. A few months later we were both needed at a birthday party celebration and he had started contacting me with questions about the party at first, so I didn't mind the casual conversation here and there at first. This is where things get complicated, my boyfriend writes me a letter telling me he had been contacting this other girl while he's been away. He continues by telling me he thinks it would be better if we started dating other people and he confessed he was second guessing about how he felt about me and his ideas of marriage in the future.    Reading this really broke my heart, and I felt like our relationship was over. I felt really weak. I remained in love with him though. The other man started to habitually text me and he asked me if I still drank. (In the past I was known to be somewhat of an 'alcoholic') I told him I gave up on the alcohol for good but he kept insisting I should have just one more night of drinking to get it out of my system for good and then forget about it entirely. Foolishly, I agreed to this, but I never took him seriously about it. A couple weeks later, he calls me up saying he got everything arranged. I was surprised at first that he had really meant it, and I declined. He kept bringing it up that everything was ready to go so I felt bad that I was going to go behind my word. I made sure to ask him that nothing would happen like the last time, and it would just be drinking and he wouldn't pull anything on me. He told me that he wouldn't, and he'd just watch me and make sure I wouldn't do anything stupid. So I agreed to go with him.    We went back to his place and started drinking, everything was going okay at first. Just drinking and talking. I didn't think he'd be drinking but he started to anyways. A few hours into it, he pulls me on top of him. Nothing happens at first, but I was unresponsive when I should've gotten off there. He starts going further and further, but I still didn't do anything. We end up going all the way that night. I felt nothing for him and I was disgusted and ashamed for what happened. During the whole thing, all I could think about was my ex boyfriend and how I still really loved him. I tell the other man to take me home and we stop communicating with each other officially after that.    My 'ex' boyfriend contacts me on facebook, and tells me everything was a whole big miscommunication. He tells me he loves me and he never meant for us to break up, he just told me it was an idea of his since we were so far away. I was very happy to be with him again. A few months later  he came to visit me and stayed with me for 2 months. At first, I never wanted to tell him about the other man, but the guilt built up inside of me and I finally told him that I slept with the other man months later. He was devastated and things between us were really bad. He decided to forgive me and at first things were hard, but now we're doing much better although were not quite where we used to be yet. We're happy, in love, and even talking about marriage and children again. The only thing is I haven't told him about the first instance with the other man, where he fooled around with me when he was drunk and we were at a party.    What should I do? Should I still tell him about that? Would it matter? Our relationship has already been through so much.</blockquote>

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