korysiveness
New member
- Dec 10, 2011
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tips to make my writing bettter? Both are pretty easy to me, i am just not sure which one would be more interesting way to write/better for the read. . Also can you give me any advice/tips to improve my writing. I am only 15 though so i am not perfect. Thanks in advanced 
Third
Wiley gripped the rock before her and stared down into the depths of the forest below. The dog
like creatures were still beneath her, coaxing her to fall. She clutched on tighter hoisting herself up, ignoring the screaming protest of her muscles. It was climb higher or become dog food. Higher and higher up she rose the whines and barks of the dogs quieted, she wasn’t sure if they had left or if she was too high up to hear them.
Seemingly hours later she heaved herself up on to the edge. The sky was still an inky blue, not
even hinting at lightening any time soon. She knew it was stupid to have come out here so very early in the morning even before daybreak. But she had always been doing this, to be out here in the feral landscape so different from the place she lived made her feel alive and for once herself. There were dangers here but at least you could outrun them and even possibly beat them. Back in the city if those predators wanted you there was no place to run or hide.
First:
I gripped the cliff and stared down in the depths of the forest below. The dog like creatures were
still beneath me circling, cheering me on to fall. I clutched tighter hoisting myself up and ignoring the screaming protests of my muscles. Higher and higher I rose and I could no longer make out the dogs whines, they either left or I was too high up to hear them.
What seemed like hours later I heaved myself up over the edge, lying face down. Of course I
shouldn’t have come out here so early, it was a very stupid thing to do but I cant help it. When I'm out here I feel more my self than anywhere. The landscape might be feral and overgrown, full of dangerous beasts, but at least you can run and possibly beat these ones. Out in the Metro if those predators wanted you there would be nowhere to run or hide.
Third
Wiley gripped the rock before her and stared down into the depths of the forest below. The dog
like creatures were still beneath her, coaxing her to fall. She clutched on tighter hoisting herself up, ignoring the screaming protest of her muscles. It was climb higher or become dog food. Higher and higher up she rose the whines and barks of the dogs quieted, she wasn’t sure if they had left or if she was too high up to hear them.
Seemingly hours later she heaved herself up on to the edge. The sky was still an inky blue, not
even hinting at lightening any time soon. She knew it was stupid to have come out here so very early in the morning even before daybreak. But she had always been doing this, to be out here in the feral landscape so different from the place she lived made her feel alive and for once herself. There were dangers here but at least you could outrun them and even possibly beat them. Back in the city if those predators wanted you there was no place to run or hide.
First:
I gripped the cliff and stared down in the depths of the forest below. The dog like creatures were
still beneath me circling, cheering me on to fall. I clutched tighter hoisting myself up and ignoring the screaming protests of my muscles. Higher and higher I rose and I could no longer make out the dogs whines, they either left or I was too high up to hear them.
What seemed like hours later I heaved myself up over the edge, lying face down. Of course I
shouldn’t have come out here so early, it was a very stupid thing to do but I cant help it. When I'm out here I feel more my self than anywhere. The landscape might be feral and overgrown, full of dangerous beasts, but at least you can run and possibly beat these ones. Out in the Metro if those predators wanted you there would be nowhere to run or hide.