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<blockquote data-quote="Billy" data-source="post: 2380544" data-attributes="member: 221360">I don&#039;t know what is wrong with me.&nbsp; I&#039;m a 19 year old male in college and I just can&#039;t seem to be happy for a long period of time.&nbsp; I&#039;ve been depressed for about the past 3 years, but I&#039;ve been ignoring it.&nbsp; Sometimes I&#039;ll get really depressed and then go back to my normal depression.&nbsp; Right now, I&#039;m experiencing one of those raised depressions, and it sucks.&nbsp; Don&#039;t get me wrong, I&#039;ll have a good time every once in a while, but I just go right back to the depression.&nbsp; When I go from having a good time to being depressed again, it hurts because I can&#039;t stop thinking why I can&#039;t have a good time all the time.I don&#039;t enjoy doing what I use to enjoy anymore.&nbsp; The only thing that brings me joy right now is making people laugh and be happy, which I can&#039;t reasonably do all the time.&nbsp; Whenever I&#039;m alone, I just want to hang out with my friends and have a good time, but when I&#039;m with them I feel like just fading away and being alone again.I don&#039;t talk about this with my family.&nbsp; I never tell them anything, nor do I plan to anytime soon.&nbsp; It&#039;s not that I&#039;m on bad terms with my family, I just don&#039;t want to tell them.&nbsp; I don&#039;t tell my friends either.&nbsp; I don&#039;t want to burden them with my problems and have them look out for me all the time.&nbsp; If they ask what&#039;s wrong, I just put my mask on and say everything is fine.&nbsp; I can tell you guys here because no one knows who I am, and I prefer it that way.I don&#039;t feel like doing anything anymore.&nbsp; If I could, I would just sit in my room and just mindlessly surf the web all day, but I have to keep my body happy by getting food and keeping my family happy by getting good grades by going to class.&nbsp; I can have suicidal thoughts, but I will never do it.&nbsp; Please don&#039;t take me as a suicidal person.To top things off, there is this girl I really like, and I&#039;m sure she likes me, too, because she told me.&nbsp; But she said she doesn&#039;t want to be together because she is afraid she is going to hurt me (she does drugs, but is trying to stop, and has feelings for a boy she met before).&nbsp; Why can&#039;t two people that like each other be together?&nbsp; Why doesn&#039;t she just work things out with me?&nbsp; I&#039;ve tried getting over her, but I don&#039;t think I&#039;m making any progress.&nbsp; Also, I can&#039;t stop thinking about her.&nbsp; It&#039;s really frustrating to constantly think about the person I like but can&#039;t be with.&nbsp; Should I go for her or move on?This depression is really getting annoying.&nbsp; I&#039;ve been waiting it out to see if it would go away, but it just keeps coming back.&nbsp; It&#039;s getting really hard to concentrate.&nbsp; I don&#039;t know if I&#039;m just seeking attention by being depressed or not, but I really want to break this cycle.&nbsp; Please keep religion out of this and please post only if you know what you are talking about.Sorry if it&#039;s hard to read, but my thoughts are going crazy like on a roller coaster.&nbsp; Also, thanks for reading this.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Billy, post: 2380544, member: 221360"] I don't know what is wrong with me. I'm a 19 year old male in college and I just can't seem to be happy for a long period of time. I've been depressed for about the past 3 years, but I've been ignoring it. Sometimes I'll get really depressed and then go back to my normal depression. Right now, I'm experiencing one of those raised depressions, and it sucks. Don't get me wrong, I'll have a good time every once in a while, but I just go right back to the depression. When I go from having a good time to being depressed again, it hurts because I can't stop thinking why I can't have a good time all the time. I don't enjoy doing what I use to enjoy anymore. The only thing that brings me joy right now is making people laugh and be happy, which I can't reasonably do all the time. Whenever I'm alone, I just want to hang out with my friends and have a good time, but when I'm with them I feel like just fading away and being alone again. I don't talk about this with my family. I never tell them anything, nor do I plan to anytime soon. It's not that I'm on bad terms with my family, I just don't want to tell them. I don't tell my friends either. I don't want to burden them with my problems and have them look out for me all the time. If they ask what's wrong, I just put my mask on and say everything is fine. I can tell you guys here because no one knows who I am, and I prefer it that way. I don't feel like doing anything anymore. If I could, I would just sit in my room and just mindlessly surf the web all day, but I have to keep my body happy by getting food and keeping my family happy by getting good grades by going to class. I can have suicidal thoughts, but I will never do it. Please don't take me as a suicidal person. To top things off, there is this girl I really like, and I'm sure she likes me, too, because she told me. But she said she doesn't want to be together because she is afraid she is going to hurt me (she does drugs, but is trying to stop, and has feelings for a boy she met before). Why can't two people that like each other be together? Why doesn't she just work things out with me? I've tried getting over her, but I don't think I'm making any progress. Also, I can't stop thinking about her. It's really frustrating to constantly think about the person I like but can't be with. Should I go for her or move on? This depression is really getting annoying. I've been waiting it out to see if it would go away, but it just keeps coming back. It's getting really hard to concentrate. I don't know if I'm just seeking attention by being depressed or not, but I really want to break this cycle. Please keep religion out of this and please post only if you know what you are talking about. Sorry if it's hard to read, but my thoughts are going crazy like on a roller coaster. Also, thanks for reading this. [/QUOTE]

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