I met this charming, attractive and attentive guy on New Year's Eve through a mutual friend and we hit it off. Soon after we began dating and he was a great guy UNTIL he began pressuring me to drink with him. I'm not going to blame him but I began drinking heavily with him primarily vodka and whiskey (and I'm not a heavy drinker). He also began talking terrible things about our mutual friend and how she was 5 years older than us (we're 24 and 25 and she's nearly 30) and how she was stuck in a dead end job as a front desk employee and how she lacked ambition. They actually work at the same hotel, only he's sales manager and and she's the front desk. He also complained how she would ask him for drinks whenever they went out and how that annoyed him. He told me that he needed to "separate from her" because she always gave him free pot. He insisted that I not hangout with her ... and since I liked him so much ... I basically didn't hangout with her for a month.
Needless to say, he began telling me that I need to focus on some other area of study (I'm studying social work ... hopefully getting my master's within 2 years) since that was a low paying job and I could not benefit from it. I told him I had seizures and I cried and he cut me off and told me those things are no big deals. All the while, I ALWAYS listened to me. On Valentine's Day I got him cologne (without expecting a gift from him since he had previously told me he didn't believe in V-Day). He took it, and gave me a hug and looked uncomfortable.
Sensing that he was uncomfortable and wanting to put some distance between he and I for a while, I hung out with our mutual friend that next two weekends. All the while, he called me to say he was disappointed in me because our friend had no aspirations in life and was a bad influence on me. I said, well it's her or me ... and I told him that I didn't want to throw my friendship away because she wasn't a bad influence. In fact, whenever I go out with my friend we only have three drinks at the most. With him, I would drink more heavily than I EVER did in my life (something that was my fault) ... thankfully after the breakup I've hardly had a drink and I don't crave one either.
Anyway, we sort of talked on the phone and I said I think it's time to call it quits. He says the following, "So you wanted to beat me to the breakup? Was that it?" I told him that that wasn't the case, and that he should stop judging our friend and everyone else my their power and money. Since then we have NOT talked at all, he's only sent me a text message to not delete our picture (the one we took on V-Day) from FB. It's so weird. So here's my question ... why is he so judgmental of our mutual friend when he's a much worse influence? And why did he act so strange afterward? I can't decipher it, so your input would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
Needless to say, he began telling me that I need to focus on some other area of study (I'm studying social work ... hopefully getting my master's within 2 years) since that was a low paying job and I could not benefit from it. I told him I had seizures and I cried and he cut me off and told me those things are no big deals. All the while, I ALWAYS listened to me. On Valentine's Day I got him cologne (without expecting a gift from him since he had previously told me he didn't believe in V-Day). He took it, and gave me a hug and looked uncomfortable.
Sensing that he was uncomfortable and wanting to put some distance between he and I for a while, I hung out with our mutual friend that next two weekends. All the while, he called me to say he was disappointed in me because our friend had no aspirations in life and was a bad influence on me. I said, well it's her or me ... and I told him that I didn't want to throw my friendship away because she wasn't a bad influence. In fact, whenever I go out with my friend we only have three drinks at the most. With him, I would drink more heavily than I EVER did in my life (something that was my fault) ... thankfully after the breakup I've hardly had a drink and I don't crave one either.
Anyway, we sort of talked on the phone and I said I think it's time to call it quits. He says the following, "So you wanted to beat me to the breakup? Was that it?" I told him that that wasn't the case, and that he should stop judging our friend and everyone else my their power and money. Since then we have NOT talked at all, he's only sent me a text message to not delete our picture (the one we took on V-Day) from FB. It's so weird. So here's my question ... why is he so judgmental of our mutual friend when he's a much worse influence? And why did he act so strange afterward? I can't decipher it, so your input would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!