Why is the one eyed Newt getting divorced?

Because GOPers only say they have family values but they really don't.
 
When the 'new' wife gets too old or too sick it's time to get a new one ... !
 
Oh, he's not. You need to be nice to the GOPer's so they'll jump ship and vote for me!!! Kill 'em with kindness while they cling to their guns and Bibles. I'm getting a crick in my neck from keeping my nose so far up in the air.
 
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