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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Forsaken" data-source="post: 1708109" data-attributes="member: 287502">I am 19 and was born in a joint lower mid-class southasian family with twisted mindsets. My mother got married to my father in an early age, they had an age difference of 15 years. My father was a sadist, who use to torture my mother, me and my siblings; in an early age; me and my brother tried to kill ourselves. He use to yell at the top his lungs, swear and humiliate my mother and even us, though he didn't say anything to my sisters who were quite young. For 22 years, my mum sacrified her entire life for our education and well being. But we never escaped the regular freakshows which use to take place in our home, It was hell, a torture cell. I always wanted to kill him. He never worked and throughout our entire life we got funded by my mum's family. Our expensive pvt. school tuitions, food and clothing everything was funded. It was a life of utter humliliation, but my dad just didn't care and swigged in the money like a gluttonous leech. My mum use to cry hysterically and beat herself due to the mental torment that man afflicted on her. No one from his family stopped him except his sister who he use to hate and didn't use to talk (cuz she was HUMAN and not barbaric) . We were too young. I remember, i use to argue with him all night long about his screwed-up deviant behaviour and somehow it always turned out as if he was enjoying all this. I won't call him a psycho because that makes him innocent, which he clearly isn't. He is a sharp, shrewed man with mind boggling skills, he was a millionaire before his marriage but coughed all his money on his sisters and brothers who robbed him to rags. He never even bought a pair of clothing for my sisters or my mum. My mum beared with him because of her honor (which clearly he couldn't give). She got married to him at the age of eighteen. Due to this dysfunctional family crisis my brother started taking drugs, I was molested by an in-family member for 4 years but as we didn't get any attention due to 24/7 torture sessions in the house i couldn't say aything as i didn't even know what it was, I was 6! During this period i tried to jump off a cliff but couldn't. My entire childhood was ruined. There use to times when we starved and had nothing. It was a mess. My mother worked day and night for seven years handling home simultaneously feeding us and paying our tuitions. I started finding odd jobs at the age of 13 and did quite a few. . .It was summer 2007 when the torture, yelling from my dad's side was out of control. He trapped my mum in the bedroom and threw gas on her to burn her. Fortunately, i came back from college early and scolded him, swore at him. My brother but a knife to his head but he didn't stop. What sort of a FATHER was he? Later on he gulped meds and was rush to the hospital, twice me and my brother hit him. My little sisters use to cry in terror, my mum tearing her hair off her scalp in anger and rage. Still talking even writing about it gives me goosebumps, I thought i forgot everything but i just can't forget that!! My mum more than once ran barefeet in the street, he threatened to kill her, ironically he never hit my mum but his immense torture was worse than a murder. My mum was dead inside, she couldn't comprehend who and what we use to say to her. She just was a living zombie. My brother went abroad to work. That's when i decided to draw the line. I took my family to another city, and we started a new life from scratch. We had tremendous, tremendous problems in our way but arleast we were away from him. At times we all use to cry, there was no life! But now finally things have started to look normal! finally there's a wish to live. . .My father throughout these two years calls us up saying that he's sorry and that he has CHANGED big time, he blames me for everything saying that i am the culprit. He says that he is ill and on his death bed. I unwillingly returned his calls and unwillingly went to him but apparantly emanciated he is much stronger in arguing than i am and still has the power to drive a mob crazy. He says that he has changed and want things back and would give anything to turn back time. What is the use. I am so confused, I remeber those few occasions when he loved me as a son. He came here once but i told him straightaway to leave, he left sobbing! HE called me up right now nad says that he wants to see his daughters before he dies and is on his way on Sunday. I haven't told my mum yet, she'll freak out. What shoould i do. Is there a way back? Should i take a risk! I know My mum won't, and if we let him in, my mum's family who gave us refuge would not talk to my mum cuz they know that he is a bastard who did nothing for his family, earned nothing and sold out everything. He just wants to be back to suck out which is left in us. HE wants to be FORGIVEN. .What is this, Who is he, Is he a HUMAN, Should i feel sorry for him, Should i curse myself of hating him? Am i a devil?? Please help me out before i have a nervous breakdown.</blockquote>

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