improvement? (Don't worry, it's quite short)? The story is about a girl, Anna, who has grown up believing that her mother died giving birth to her. Because of this she has a host of emotional issues. She later finds out that her mom is still alive and moved out when Anna was a young toddler. She...
“Settle down, next person to talk will get detention for a week,”
I couldn’t help but notice how Ms. Lyon became more aggressive every day. It was like something was invading her personal life and she had nothing better to do than take it out on us. Usually, art teachers were the peaceful ones...
It's the middle of the third chapter, so I'm aware you may not be as invested in it as I'd like, but I'd love all your thoughts on it regardless, as they can be extremely helpful. Just general opinions, things that sound off, parts you don't like, parts you do like, tips for improvement...
So I finally finished the second chapter of my story, which is an accomplishment for me because it takes me forever to write anything. Anyway, this part is from the very end of the chapter, and I'd like your feedback on it. Does it interest you? Useful critique always welcome.
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Late that...
It was late. I was tired. Mother was yelling her head off that I couldn’t – wouldn’t be allowed to – sleep until I’d done cleaning out my closet. She stood behind me, her hands on her waist, her face set in a ferocious scowl. My head was pounding, my eyes just begging to be shut. I gave her a...
It was late. I was tired. Mother was yelling her head off that I couldn’t – wouldn’t be allowed to – sleep until I’d done cleaning out my closet. She stood behind me, her hands on her waist, her face set in a ferocious scowl. My head was pounding, my eyes just begging to be shut. I gave her a...
What other ending is possible for the story (excerpt) "Dr. Heidegger's Experiment"?
For example, you were the writer, would you just end it as it does?
What other ending is possible?
It's just that, I am not contented with the ending. .__.
What other ending is possible for the story (excerpt) "Dr. Heidegger's Experiment"?
For example, you were the writer, would you just end it as it does?
What other ending is possible?
It's just that, I am not contented with the ending. .__.
Please tell me what you think. I am looking for any useful critique or suggested improvements, but all your opinions are appreciated.
Note: this isn't the very beginning, but if I included that it would've been too long to fit. The chapter starts off with the setting of a ball in which a couple...
Please be kind and considerate -- I'm very self-conscious when it comes to my writing, so please take that into consideration before saying something too harsh. Thanks.
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I had forgotten how I'd gotten to this point. I knew I hadn't initiated confrontation, but I couldn't seem to remember...
I like brutal, makes me learn the most.
Complain about ANYTHING. I really like when people get picky about my writing and I hate it when they just say "Aw it's good :) :)"
Thanks :D
I remember those many months ago, the exact scene: my slouchy figure padding past Dusty’s Shelves—a local...
I'm looking for opinions and maybe a little constructive criticism... Please no rude comments, or anything intentionally degrading, espeically considering how little confidence I have already. Please consider that I take this seriously, and it's something I work hard at...
Thanks.
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Bright...
First off, I'd like you to know that I don't want to get this published, I'm writing it for fun. Secondly, it is about vampires and if you have a problem with that you should probably just leave this question now. I write about them because they intrigue me, not because I'm a Twilight fangirl or...
Please read through it and check for grammar errors and cliques. As I can't spot the mistakes I need someone to tell me how to improve it. Thanks a lot.
It has been a year since I left home to this campus. For me, everything here is still strange and new. When I came home from high school, I...
This is a first draft, and I usually don't make changes until the second draft, but I'm striving to catch the reader's attention within the first few pages. Grammar and such will be shaped up on the second draft.
((( This is a sequel to my alien invasion novel, and this is one of my main...
I actually wrote it. It came from a personal entry in my diary. My friend called it hilarious. Funny? Entertaining? So true? Other? (Besides punctuation!) Honesty is a must. :D
WOW! I can’t believe how much my ex-crush has changed! I’m in like total awe. So, I had a dream about him last night...
Why was I so afraid? I’ve walked these streets day and night for the past 16 years of my life. I knew the old man who would sit and smoke a pipe or that crazy cat lady who would reek of herbs. Name a house and I could tell you who lived there and my relationship status with them.
Tonight...
Before and after the visual effects segment, there was an intense song that was playing (Will Smith was talking during this segment). Does anyone know what song it comes from? I'm guessing a soundtrack, because I've heard it before in a movie. I just don't remember.
Thanks a bunch!
...complaining about the “atheists"? “Now here’s the third and last thing that tees me off about the atheist campaign. Adults believe in God in roughly the same way that young children believe in Father Christmas and the tooth fairy, and for very similar reasons. And before the Jacqueline...