Any good Saxophone jokes?

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melbailey08

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Does anyone know any good saxophone jokes? My friend started by telling me a bunch of flute jokes (i play the flute and she plays the sax). I then taped a bunch of saxophone jokes to the wall outside her door. This started the war of the band jokes. So if anyone can help me out it would be greatly appreciated.
 
sorry if they are good i found them on the internet!


Why did the lead alto player play so many wrong notes?
Because he kept ignoring the key signature-- he thought it was a suggestion

How many alto sax players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to do it, and four to comment on how David Sanborn would have done it.

How many C melody sax players can you fit into a phone booth?
All of them.

If lost in the woods, who di you ask for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?
The out-of-tune tenor sax player. The other two indicate that you're hallucinating.


What's the difference between a lawnmower and a tenor sax?
1. Lawnmowers sound better in small ensembles.
2. You can tune a lawnmower.
3. The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don't return it.
4. The grip.

What's the difference between the creationist theory of the origin of life and a tenor sax?
The theory doesn't have as many leaks.
 
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Why don't sax players like playing soprano?
There's no place to hide your drugs,


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What is the difference between Kenny G and a machine gun?
The machine gun repeats only 10 times per second.


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Kenny G gets on an elevator and says "Wow! This rocks!"
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Why did the lead alto player play so many wrong notes?
Because he kept ignoring the key signature-- he thought it was a suggestion.


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How many alto sax players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to do it, and four to comment on how David Sanborn would have done it.


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How many C melody sax players can you fit into a phone booth?
All of them.


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If lost in the woods, who di you ask for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?
The out-of-tune tenor sax player. The other two indicate that you're hallucinating.


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What's the difference between a lawnmower and a tenor sax?
1. Lawnmowers sound better in small ensembles.
2. You can tune a lawnmower.
3. The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don't return it.
4. The grip.


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What's the difference between the creationist theory of the origin of life and a tenor sax?
The theory doesn't have as many leaks.


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What's the difference between a bari-sax and a chain saw?
1. Vibrato.
2. The exhaust.


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You may be a redneck saxophonist if...
...you have an old bass sax up on blocks in your front yard.
...you spell it "saxaphone."
...you think the bell of your instrument is a great place to hold a longneck during a gig.
...the gun rack in your pickup truck holds a couple of old Buesher sopranos.
...you think that Boots Randolph is the greatest Jazz musician who ever lived.


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What do a saxophone and a baseball bat have in common?
People cheer when you hit them with a bat.


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What are trumpets made out of?
Leftover saxaphone parts.


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You are in a room with Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler, and Kenny G. You have a gun but only two bullets. What do you do?
Shoot Kenny G twice... just to make sure.


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What is the difference between a saxophone and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.


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What were the saxophone player's grades?
Below C level.


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What's the difference between a saxophonist and a gentleman?
A gentleman knows how to play but doesn't.


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What is the best recording of the Creston Saxophone Sonata?
Music Minus One.


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How do you define a perfect pitch?
Throwing an alto sax in a toilet from 20 feet with out hitting the rim


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There is a man on a boat that is in a shipwreck. The boat crashes on a jungle island and the man is greeted by natives. In the distance, he hears the sound of drums. He asks what the drums are for and the chief answers, "The drums must not stop." The man is forced to stay the night in the natives village. All through the night, the drums keep on going so he got no sleep at all during the night. He got up in the morning and went to the chief again, begging him to know why the drums couldn't stop. The chief answered, "Because, when drum solo stop, sax solo start."
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What's the difference between a saxophone and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug in the vacuum cleaner before it sucks.


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