JustAQuestion
New member
- Jul 4, 2008
- 11
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Basically the one thing I need to really work on is approaching women in public. What's funny is that I really don't get too nervous (if nervous at all) to approach women and I know this because for some reason at work and familiar places, I can easily do it. That's how I've gotten some experience with David's stuff. However, when I'm alone at the gym or supermarket or whatever, I still have issues. I know why I have issues too. If I see a gorgeous girl and want to approach, I start thinking about what the other bystanders will think. For example, let's say I'm in Subway or something and I see an attractive girl. If her and I were in Subway by ourselves, I'd say something in a second. But I feel that everyone will think "haha, this guy is trying to get this girl" or if they see her reject me, they'll laugh. I think things like this because I know that I go to places like the gym and subway or whatever a lot and I don't want to go in there in front of 4 employees who saw me get rejected by some girl a couple days prior. I just won't feel good. Plus in places like Subway, the other people are pretty much right on top of you, there isn't much space for any privacy..
Or at the gym for example, say some attractive girl is on a machine and I'd like to approach her while she's resting. I won't because I know there's like 20 other people around and I feel it will put me in the limelight and everyone will be like "look at that guy trying to pickup that obviously attractive girl" and then I'll see those people down the road. I don't want to be known by the gym regulars and staff as the guy who just comes to pick up chicks.
To be honest, I think a lot of it comes from the fact that I never see any guys approach girls while I'm out in public. I'll see it at clubs or bars or whatever but never in public. It seems taboo or something. Seriously. I can't even remember the last time I saw a guy approach a girl. Maybe I saw it yesterday but didn't realize, but last time I realized, I don't even know. So I feel that by doing it, I'm making myself the odd one out and putting myself on a stage I don't wanna be on. If it were happening all the time around me (noticeably), I would probably have no problem with it. Do you guys have any advice for getting over this problem? This really is my main problem. In fact, at work I usually am not bad at approaching but even when I have a problem at work, it usually has to do with this train of thought: I don't even care what the girl thinks of me approaching her but I wonder if she'll tell her co-workers "Hey, John asked for my number today" and then they will think of me differently, or maybe she'll tell another girl that I've asked before and people will think I'm just desperate. Do you have any advice for this? Thanks a lot!
Or at the gym for example, say some attractive girl is on a machine and I'd like to approach her while she's resting. I won't because I know there's like 20 other people around and I feel it will put me in the limelight and everyone will be like "look at that guy trying to pickup that obviously attractive girl" and then I'll see those people down the road. I don't want to be known by the gym regulars and staff as the guy who just comes to pick up chicks.
To be honest, I think a lot of it comes from the fact that I never see any guys approach girls while I'm out in public. I'll see it at clubs or bars or whatever but never in public. It seems taboo or something. Seriously. I can't even remember the last time I saw a guy approach a girl. Maybe I saw it yesterday but didn't realize, but last time I realized, I don't even know. So I feel that by doing it, I'm making myself the odd one out and putting myself on a stage I don't wanna be on. If it were happening all the time around me (noticeably), I would probably have no problem with it. Do you guys have any advice for getting over this problem? This really is my main problem. In fact, at work I usually am not bad at approaching but even when I have a problem at work, it usually has to do with this train of thought: I don't even care what the girl thinks of me approaching her but I wonder if she'll tell her co-workers "Hey, John asked for my number today" and then they will think of me differently, or maybe she'll tell another girl that I've asked before and people will think I'm just desperate. Do you have any advice for this? Thanks a lot!