VanillaBear1
New member
- Jun 21, 2010
- 7
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Here they are:
1. "What the hell are you doing?" I exclaimed as I witnessed my brother, Chris, downing a bottle of whiskey while mowing the lawn in nothing but his underwear.
2. I shrugged off the fact that I was his only brother and fake gagged at his half-naked hug, pushing him away with both of my hands. Chris nearly toppled over, but he grabbed on to his mailbox instead. He embraced it as if it was one of his own children and started petting it like it was glass, mumbling unidentifiable words into it. I knew that I had gotten drunk off my a** before, but that usually just ended with me urinating in my lunatic neighbor's newly trimmed bushes. I never talked to inanimate objects...or at least I never thought I had.
3. It started out as our evening normally did, with Abby cramming a whole night's worth of drinking into three minutes (I counted), Chris flirting with the waitress and the occasional waiter to get us free desserts, and me trying to figure out why I still went with them every week.
4. "What did Chris do this time?" I asked. My brother was well-known for making spontaneous decisions. When he was sixteen, he decided it would be fun to become an Eskimo, so he packed up all of his things and took a bus to the airport. It turned out that there weren't any planes going to Antarctica, which even me, at age ten, could've told him.
"What didn't he do?"
"I-I don't know, that's why I'm asking."
5. He pushed me out of the way of the refrigerator and began rummaging around in it, leaving me standing there holding my sure-to-be-bruised shoulder. "Are we even going to talk about this?" Jen inquired. Fancy that, the woman read my mind.
*
I don't care if you don't think any of them are funny, but please tell me why it isn't and how I can fix it to make it better. I know that it isn't going to be humorous to everyone, but I am hoping that at least a few people will get a little chuckle out of it.
Do you think these excerpts from my story is funny? If not, then why and how can I make it funny? Part of my novel is humor, so I need to know if people find it humorous.
Also, which is your favorite? And yes, you have to pick one.
Thanks! I really appreciate it!
1. "What the hell are you doing?" I exclaimed as I witnessed my brother, Chris, downing a bottle of whiskey while mowing the lawn in nothing but his underwear.
2. I shrugged off the fact that I was his only brother and fake gagged at his half-naked hug, pushing him away with both of my hands. Chris nearly toppled over, but he grabbed on to his mailbox instead. He embraced it as if it was one of his own children and started petting it like it was glass, mumbling unidentifiable words into it. I knew that I had gotten drunk off my a** before, but that usually just ended with me urinating in my lunatic neighbor's newly trimmed bushes. I never talked to inanimate objects...or at least I never thought I had.
3. It started out as our evening normally did, with Abby cramming a whole night's worth of drinking into three minutes (I counted), Chris flirting with the waitress and the occasional waiter to get us free desserts, and me trying to figure out why I still went with them every week.
4. "What did Chris do this time?" I asked. My brother was well-known for making spontaneous decisions. When he was sixteen, he decided it would be fun to become an Eskimo, so he packed up all of his things and took a bus to the airport. It turned out that there weren't any planes going to Antarctica, which even me, at age ten, could've told him.
"What didn't he do?"
"I-I don't know, that's why I'm asking."
5. He pushed me out of the way of the refrigerator and began rummaging around in it, leaving me standing there holding my sure-to-be-bruised shoulder. "Are we even going to talk about this?" Jen inquired. Fancy that, the woman read my mind.
*
I don't care if you don't think any of them are funny, but please tell me why it isn't and how I can fix it to make it better. I know that it isn't going to be humorous to everyone, but I am hoping that at least a few people will get a little chuckle out of it.
Do you think these excerpts from my story is funny? If not, then why and how can I make it funny? Part of my novel is humor, so I need to know if people find it humorous.
Also, which is your favorite? And yes, you have to pick one.
Thanks! I really appreciate it!