Ashamed of being gay?

Chad

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I'm very confused about my orientation. Within the past six months I told my aunt I was gay and it spread throughout the family like wildfire gay the only ones that don't know are my parents. I know inside that I'm gay however id be with a woman just to try not to be gay.its a constant battle because I am so ashamed and in denial about it to where I've tried suicide multiple times.its still a battle being a freshman in college. I'm not sure what I can do because the pain inside is always there I feel like I hate myself and I will never be a normal person.advice? Support?
 
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