Baby shower RANT am I being ridiclous?

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WaitingonmyBOYt

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My baby shower is in 3 weeks. My mother is suppose to be "planning/hosting" it with the help of my extremely excited 11 year old daughter. Unfortunately, she hasn't done a single thing towards the planning except buy the invitations and they havenot been filled out or mailed out yet. Also, A friend of mine was going to help co-host but my mother rescheduled the party without consulting with her and now my friend will not be able to even attend, so she's understandably dropped out of helping with the planning. I guess this triggered a domino effect as my mother has not done anything to plan it. As a result, I have ended up buying all the games, decorations and favors for the shower due to the fact that my daughter thinks that she is in charge of the shower and therefore, I have taken her shopping and we have picked out all of these things, which I of course paid for. Mom has not even gone with us to do this. However, What she has done is: dictate how many games will be played, what food we will eat (she's asked family to make and bring food, and determined WHO will be invited, weather I know them or not. There is a guest list of 48 people, only 8 of them I would have invited my self. (guest list is atrocious! and I will forever be humilated for inviting complete strangers. They are all going to think I'm a gimmie gift hog!) My sister is making the cake, Thankfully she offered to do it as a gift to me. Basically, I have put together and PAID for a really nice shower for myself, with the help of my 11 year old. Mom just has to address and send out the invites, that is IT! But OH NO why would she do that. My shower is in 3 weeks and she just sent all 48 blank invites to my house for my 11 year old daughter to fill out. And because it is so close, all my friends and family have been asking if there will be a baby shower at all and asking when it will be. My mother's response to them is that she's "hosting the shower with her granddaughter and that her granddaughter is doing the hosting but she's FINANCING the whole party". Seriously! she tells everyone that SHE is paying for a party that my daughter and I have planned and I have paid for. I'm so annoyed and already disappointed and really really scared to see how the party is going to turn out. My daughter has taken all the stuff we bought to her house (me thinking this would put a fire under her) so she's aware that party is coming up. SHE NEVER EVEN TALKS ABOUT IT! unless we bring it up) SO What makes her think she has the right to dictate all the details of this party but not actually do any of the planning or paying of it???What the heck is this all about???? I know I'm preggo and super hormonal so please tell me if I'm acting ridiclous or not.
 
Nope...not ridiculous at all. My mother did something very similar to me. My Hubby ended up throwing me a shower exactly 1 week before I gave birth. Shower or not, it's your baby and the shower is for YOU! therefore as the "main event" you should have final say in EVERYTHING! Especially food! My dippy mom paid my 20 y.o.sister over 1k in CASH to "cater" the "event" that only 6 people attended. And I ended up in the hospital with food poisoning within hours. Stand up for yourself and your daughter, if you don't, you'll really regret it...I do.
 
If she has sent the blank invitations over for your daughter to fill out, maybe you could give your daughter a little help. Help her fill the invitations out with the names of people YOU want to invite. This is YOUR shower, strangers have no business being there. Invite the people you want to invite.
 
if i were you i'd let her host and finance her party for 40 strangers and 8 friends. Sit back and let her do it all, and if/when it's a flop, let her take the "credit".

I'd also hold a "what the hell was that?" afternoon with your real friends afterwords. Just coffee and snacks, and have a good laugh about the baby shower your mum threw you.

i do think you are over-reacting, but you can handle this by withholding all things you have purchased (save them for another time or for a friends baby shower) and not contributing AT ALL to the baby shower, When your 11yr old says she wants to do something about the shower, hand her the phone so she can call grandma and organise it. DON'T get sucked in and do it all yourself. It will only bred resentment towards your mother.
 
You are flipping out a little, yes.
Calm down and let your mom take over. Seriously, these are 48 people you dont even really care that much about right? (minus 8) So let your "financing" mother know the ball is totally in her court now and you are going to sit back and be pregnant, like you were intended to!

If its crap, who cares really?? Its a baby shower with people you arent even close to. Dont stress it. A group of that many chatty women together will be fun no matter what. As long as there's food of some kind, you're golden.
 
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