can fallen out of love with your spouse/partner ever be mended in a marriage?

[melisa_estlack]

i do have an opinion on the side of no, it cannot. i say this that once love is lost then its one hell of a trip to find it. it could be that you have grown apart or just not into each other anymore. please folks that are in love or disagree. i get the message that your love is different and there is no way you could ever feel that way about your spouse or partner. by the way, my parents have been togather for nearly 50 years (i call them a fluke in life). what say you?

 

[melanieinuyasha]

I totally agree with you. I'm in that situation right now. There's no repair kit for a marriage that fell out of love already. There's an ideal situation which some find but in my case - its hopeless.

 

[Melena]

I say it usually depends on the couple and the circumstances. Personally, I fell out of love with my son's father and never did regain it. Tried like hell for almost 8 years, but it didn't happen. Hope I helped.

 

[MelenaZ]

Not impossible, but unlikely. Many people who have fallen out of love don't know how to get it back and are often more willing to either settle and deal with it not being there (if they still care about their partner) or they choose to move on, because rekindling that fire can take some work and time.

 

[melfox]

yes it can. And another thing, marriage is work, its like a job you have to keep going to every day and put in time to get the job done and done right. I've said it once, I'll say it again. Marriage is tough work, and there are a lot of lazy people in the world.

 

[melissa Dobson]

i agree but i think its possible with alot of hard work and time spent by both partners.

 

[melchewvin]

I agree with U

 

[Melinda G]

If u truly love someone w/ all that u are then it would come back...If it doesn't then it wasn't actually true love now was it? U have to remember why u fell in love to bring that love back...It's never lost it's just temporarily misplaced

 

[melcw592]

i think people give up too easy nowadays, love never did run smooth. I dont think it's possible to completely fall out of love. People divorce to easy and people get married for the worng reasons more these days, I think alot of the time people are in a bad relationship and they think marraige will fix it which is stupid so its destined to end.

 

[Melfie]

It depends on how much the individuals are willing to sacrife to make the relationship work. There are things like trust issues that take time....so they'd need patients too.There aren't a whole lot of life long marriage, but the few that are isn't that few either.

 

[Melinda G]

My answer: YES it can be re-lit if both can go back and remember why they fell in love in the first place. If they can still feel that same connection, and if there is still "love", then yes! it can be mended. However, there are too many factors that are missing from your question. There may be factors that require a third party to help you both remember why you were so into each other in the beginning. I seriously believe that if you still have even an ounce of love for one another, you can make it work. marriage is suppose to be forever. but it takes both thinking that way to recreate your interest in each other.

 

[melissa d]

things can happen in life that will bring you two together... theres this movie called Paris Je T'aime. its a movie that has 20 different stories that are 5 minutes each by 20 different directors. most of it is in french (it has subtitles though) but it still has some american actors/actresses in it. its really good, one of the stories is your situation. you should rent it.

 

[melanieinuyasha]

Ya know...I think it could be, but both people have to want to put in the effort to make things right again. On the other hand if it's just not there...I mean, it is what it is right. I would say that you would have better chances of resolving things if there was a professional involved. But sometimes people change. That change can cause them to grow apart and want different things. I think that may stem though from being married too early (either early as in age or early as in too early in the relationship before you get to know each other). I have a friend who married his wife when he was 19. They're growing apart very rapidly. It's no one's fault. They're just different people now than they were back then.

 

[melisker]

i am going through the same thing at the moment. there are many days where i feel like we are room mates instead of a couple. the thing that keeps us together are those few moments that we do have that bring back all those good old memories. i compare him to all the losers i dated and how my life could of been worse without him. for everybody it is different but if you want to make it work you will find the way that makes you feel and get closer.

 

[MELISSA B]

I feel out of love with my ex, and got divorced.Love and marriage is very hard on the two people,your parents obviously were meant to be together, because their love is strong, and they are totally devoted to one another, I call that love.It really depends on how much love you have for each other, when you get married, and also if you really are compatible every way.I hope this helps your question

 

[meliisam34]

Well, my dear...it can become "either way " in this situation..For all "Situations" of this nature all have "details" and "factors" that come into it...If a "time frame, of lets just say, five years has gone by almost...and all those factors..including "stress on the mind, body, spirit..are constantly bein destroyed by the other mate, and situations around it..can put the "other spouse" into what I call a "Sheer Hell experience"...and when the "emotional, spiritual, mental...become damaged..there might not be "no turning back"...Ive "been there , done that"..In a marriage before this one Im in now"...and now I have to say that "both of the scenerios can happen either way"....Its just amatter of "defininitions of what and how deep the disagreements go..and the "hurt " that follows, and the "trust factors if been cheated on...and non supported"..for the five years..that Im using as an example..Things can build up..If one isnt "listening" to the other, and visa versa, and really "Hearing" eachother..and "Communication play a "HUUUUUUUGE role"...in all that also...and when that alone starts to Crumble in addition to all other...around..and "non supportive"..to eachother..then all h*** breaks loose..and its usually one ,, or the other..just "cant handle the "Issues at stake, because they go waaaay "deeper, than "outsiders can see...."..around them..Some can "accept and stay "married for the kids"..Im not one of them...It just makes the whole entire "family line unhappy", causing yet another Imbalance of "nature of the family"...and marriage...I wont do that to my children..But then Ive always been myself, and not like "others"..That is all I can say for now..For Im a loss of words..For This is one "Powerful Situation that can go both ways"..I wish you understanding..and Love this deep down question..It goes waaaaay deep...and I hope others can see this about this question also..You take care , hun, God Bless you..always..<KLYHugsU>'))

 

[MELISSA B]

Is your spouse a mail order bride? If not, then you must have dated her for awhile and fell in love before you got married. After you have been together for awhile, you develop these patterns that causes a marriage to become complacent more and more each day you relive those patterns. Patterns make our lives easy as we can just go through life asleep at the wheel and still get where you need to go in the day. You drive the same route to work, you follow the same routine when you get up in the morning. It is just easy. Even when you talk to each other, you become programmed to knowing the signs that tell you before she completes the sentence whether she is about to complain, or needs some attention. Eating hamburgers every day can get boring.If every day your spouse gets up and makes breakfast, it is a routine that will give you the same negative ho hum results. However, if you got up and made the family breakfast, you will have changed the routine and trigger a different reaction. Change your actions to change her reaction, and you start to introduce new patterns into your life. One thing such as that isn't going to make it work, but it is the things so simple such as this that change the way you are with each other and add some spark to your marriage. The hard part is not making change, it is making your new patterns stick but if you both want to, it is possible to turn it around. Marriage counseling can help with that. However, if you don't want to do the work, then nothing is going to change the way you feel.

 

[melisaa]

For me, this is an easy question. I live with it everyday. The answer is no, the question is how did it happen. With us, it was him , his mouth, his attitude and the way he talked down to me in company.. I will not tolerate any of the above. I still live with him, mainly because the money is good and I am not stupid enough to leave and I will ask him for nothing. Here, all is ours, neither his nor mine, ours, and I intend to keep my half and live and let live. We do not talk, he provides and I take care of the house. No more fighting-you cannor fight with someone you refuse to talk to.