Can you proof read my essay's introduction please?

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Lauren1

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I have a big essay due when school starts and was wondering if anyone could edit my introduction or give feedback... just anything. If you notice a grammar error or you think the words should be reworked. Thanks so much!

The passing of time can be a miraculous thing. It can represent new life, improved relationships, and eventual opportunities. The passing of time can be absolutely horrifying. It can represent the demise of a loved one, a downfall of one's circumstances, and, eventually, the end of life.
 
But for what topic are you writing this Intro. ? The Ending of this Intro. cud b better if you make it at the end of Essay. But again, what's the Topic of Essay ?
 
The repetition of sentence structures works well in poems and creative compositions but if this were to be an academic essay, it would possibly be taken as redundancy. However, quite good work you have there.
 
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