CHRISTIANS ONLY!! help me my brothers and slightly inferior sisters in...

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SmokingFrog

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...christ! i wanna express my love for god? by licking her feet, however she wont react to my prayers!

what can i do to make her lower one of the divine feet?
 
(1) The Bible says God is Spirit, so there are no feet. Theologian call references to God's body parts anthropomorphisms.

(2) You forget that "No" is a valid answer to a prayer. I use "No" to answer my teenagers questions a lot. I suppose from her perspective, only "Yes" is an answer, but from my perspective "No" is a legitimate response to a request.
 
Her? Blasphemy!

Everybody knows God isn't a woman, he's a mysterious three-part thingy composed of a father, son ,and spirit all mashed together.

However, if you insist on licking someones feet, I'll send you a plane ticket to Rome...

Yours in Chri$t,
Benny
 
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