Custody of our children and the right thing to do?

[blublazx]

When I first left my husband in 2001 he was given custody because he claimed I abandoned them by leaving an abusive household. After 4 years of fighting him for custody I was granted my children in 2005 for many reasons 1 of which was he was abusing physically our oldest who at the time was 13. Over the past weekend our oldest now 17 has chosen to live with his father (when I was granted custody the judge ordered he was old enough to choose where he wanted to stay). Last night our daughter 14 told us that there dad for the past year has been buying our oldest and youngest 8 gifts and telling them if they want to continue to receieve these things then they had to come live with him. Well of course he decided to stay with his dad if this is what he is telling them. I am very hurt and lost on what to do because of this. Should I just let him go?

 

[TerriJ]

You really don't have a choice. The truth is, children (especially males) will often choose to try living with Dad at around that age. You have to let him try. If it works out well, then that's good; if not, he can come back. Just keep an eye out for any abuse and report it immediately if you see any. Good luck to you.

 

[DavidT]

He is trying to buy their affection. The court decided for your youngest children where they were to live, not him.

I would sit down and explain to your children what he is doing. Also the judge was wrong in telling the oldest that he could decide where he wanted to live. In most states you can't make that decision until you are 18. Whoever is saying 16 doesn't know that much about the law.