Dating & why do girls like bad guys
- Thread starter brookeandjohn05
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Dating & why do girls like bad guys
"Why do girls prefer jerks over nice guys?" is one of those perpetual internet questions up there with "Could the Enterprise defeat a Star Destroyer?".
Women are attracted to confidence. Jerks have it, but a lot of nice guys don't. It is a turn-off if a man is overly ingratiating and eager to please. Women do not like doormats. I am not saying that any of this applies to you, but I bet some of it does.
"Why do girls prefer jerks over nice guys?" is one of those perpetual internet questions up there with "Could the Enterprise defeat a Star Destroyer?".
Women are attracted to confidence. Jerks have it, but a lot of nice guys don't. It is a turn-off if a man is overly ingratiating and eager to please. Women do not like doormats. I am not saying that any of this applies to you, but I bet some of it does.
GETYOURHANDSONMEt
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Dating & why do girls like bad guys
depends on the girl
depends on the girl
Transmission
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Dating & why do girls like bad guys
MAP dating should go deep into personal characterisics and qualities, like "e-harmony" which I'm not personally interested in. If I'm not interested then I'm not fully intuned to finding a girl, which I don't mind.
I'll just set them aside.
MAP dating should go deep into personal characterisics and qualities, like "e-harmony" which I'm not personally interested in. If I'm not interested then I'm not fully intuned to finding a girl, which I don't mind.
I'll just set them aside.
AlexisInfectious®
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Dating & why do girls like bad guys
Shru, I hate to say it, but there are some people who would benefit from a long run in the morning followed by a cold shower. I think you come near the top of the list. That and laying of the anime. Otherwise could be your future.
Shru, I hate to say it, but there are some people who would benefit from a long run in the morning followed by a cold shower. I think you come near the top of the list. That and laying of the anime. Otherwise could be your future.
Dating & why do girls like bad guys
Absolutely not. You're not trying to entertain her. Having fun in this sense isn't about being an entertainer, it's just your general attitude--that you're fun to be with and that you're enjoying yourself. People want to be around you. Joking around/being funny is great, but you don't want to become a jester. There's a difference between cracking jokes because you're trying to get laughs and cracking jokes because you're a cool/fun/comfortable/attractive guy.
Well, there's interesting, and then there's *interesting*.
Are the interesting things you're talking about question like "Where are you from?", or "What do you do for a living?", or "Describe that in more detail"?
Try talking about how things feel. Like if she's travelling, don't get caught up on technical details about places. First of all, if you've never been there, you won't have much to talk about, and it relies on her to do all the talking, which can be bad for you if she runs out of things to say. Second of all details are boring. Talk about what it feels like to experience new places/things, meet new people, how it can be exciting or scary, etc.
Stories are great, too. I wish I could describe the way my uncle (the salesman) and the british guy I know tell stories, but it's something you really have to experience. They probably embellish things a little bit in places, but the timing and the wording just work so perfectly together, that people always want to continue talking to them for a long time. They're excited about what they're saying, and it comes across. They know their stories are interesting, and that the people listening should be interested, and it comes across in the way they talk.
You've given so little information, it's hard to give useful advice. But the point is, you don't really want to interest her intellectually. You want to interest her emotionally. Make her fixated on what you're saying. Make being with you not just intellectually stimulating, but exciting and emotional.
Also, don't make her think too hard. Don't make her have to strain her mind to keep up the conversation. And be prepared to do a lot of talking--don't let there ever be long gaps in the conversation. If she's a talker, that's great. Makes it easier for you. But if she's not, be prepared to do a lot of work, and don't seek her approval on the topics you bring up. Just talk about what you think would be exciting to talk about.
On the other hand, I knew this girl who went on a date with a guy she was having fun with at a swing dance, but on the date, apparently all he talked about was Palestine, and while an interesting topic of discussion, she didn't really care and didn't want to see him again.
I'm great at making up BS stories that are fun, and I like to start with that a lot of times. Many people can't do that, or can't do it in a way that doesn't come off as creepy, so I'm not sure that this will be great advice for everyone, but the more I think about it, the more it seems like the things I do could be put into a formula that goes something like this:
Banter
BS story
depending on how good she is, we might go off and talk about something totally made up.
Funny true story
more banter
another story that leads into questions
talk about feelings related to the questions/bantery stuff
More emotional story connected to the feelings above
continue flirtatious banter
Something interesting to show her--e.g. "I'm learning this piece of music for ____ let me try playing it for you." Or "my friend gave me this book on hypnosis" (and no, I'm not talking about hypnotizing her into doing things. . .), or "have you seen this video on Youtube"
And then, I have no idea. The rest should take care of itself. And I don't really ever intend to be formulaic. I probably don't even follow this exactly. But thinking back, that seems to be something like what generally works.
I don't bring up work/school unless she does. If I've just met her, I don't even usually even ask for a name until she does. Sometimes, I don't even give her my name right away when she asks. I make her work a little bit for it.
The whole getting to know her thing. . . I think people have the wrong idea about this. Do you need to know what she does for a living to have a second date? Does it really matter? No. What matters is that she interacts well with you. Get that to work out before you get into the mundane details about life.
Absolutely not. You're not trying to entertain her. Having fun in this sense isn't about being an entertainer, it's just your general attitude--that you're fun to be with and that you're enjoying yourself. People want to be around you. Joking around/being funny is great, but you don't want to become a jester. There's a difference between cracking jokes because you're trying to get laughs and cracking jokes because you're a cool/fun/comfortable/attractive guy.
Well, there's interesting, and then there's *interesting*.
Are the interesting things you're talking about question like "Where are you from?", or "What do you do for a living?", or "Describe that in more detail"?
Try talking about how things feel. Like if she's travelling, don't get caught up on technical details about places. First of all, if you've never been there, you won't have much to talk about, and it relies on her to do all the talking, which can be bad for you if she runs out of things to say. Second of all details are boring. Talk about what it feels like to experience new places/things, meet new people, how it can be exciting or scary, etc.
Stories are great, too. I wish I could describe the way my uncle (the salesman) and the british guy I know tell stories, but it's something you really have to experience. They probably embellish things a little bit in places, but the timing and the wording just work so perfectly together, that people always want to continue talking to them for a long time. They're excited about what they're saying, and it comes across. They know their stories are interesting, and that the people listening should be interested, and it comes across in the way they talk.
You've given so little information, it's hard to give useful advice. But the point is, you don't really want to interest her intellectually. You want to interest her emotionally. Make her fixated on what you're saying. Make being with you not just intellectually stimulating, but exciting and emotional.
Also, don't make her think too hard. Don't make her have to strain her mind to keep up the conversation. And be prepared to do a lot of talking--don't let there ever be long gaps in the conversation. If she's a talker, that's great. Makes it easier for you. But if she's not, be prepared to do a lot of work, and don't seek her approval on the topics you bring up. Just talk about what you think would be exciting to talk about.
On the other hand, I knew this girl who went on a date with a guy she was having fun with at a swing dance, but on the date, apparently all he talked about was Palestine, and while an interesting topic of discussion, she didn't really care and didn't want to see him again.
I'm great at making up BS stories that are fun, and I like to start with that a lot of times. Many people can't do that, or can't do it in a way that doesn't come off as creepy, so I'm not sure that this will be great advice for everyone, but the more I think about it, the more it seems like the things I do could be put into a formula that goes something like this:
Banter
BS story
depending on how good she is, we might go off and talk about something totally made up.
Funny true story
more banter
another story that leads into questions
talk about feelings related to the questions/bantery stuff
More emotional story connected to the feelings above
continue flirtatious banter
Something interesting to show her--e.g. "I'm learning this piece of music for ____ let me try playing it for you." Or "my friend gave me this book on hypnosis" (and no, I'm not talking about hypnotizing her into doing things. . .), or "have you seen this video on Youtube"
And then, I have no idea. The rest should take care of itself. And I don't really ever intend to be formulaic. I probably don't even follow this exactly. But thinking back, that seems to be something like what generally works.
I don't bring up work/school unless she does. If I've just met her, I don't even usually even ask for a name until she does. Sometimes, I don't even give her my name right away when she asks. I make her work a little bit for it.
The whole getting to know her thing. . . I think people have the wrong idea about this. Do you need to know what she does for a living to have a second date? Does it really matter? No. What matters is that she interacts well with you. Get that to work out before you get into the mundane details about life.
butterflylucin
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Dating & why do girls like bad guys
Ragnarok has given some pretty damned good advice in this thread; I must say.
Ragnarok has given some pretty damned good advice in this thread; I must say.
GUlUN
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Dating & why do girls like bad guys
Given the advice.
And yes you can find very similiar advice. Because that was where I learned it from.
Not a copy though. What came to my head from my own experience, advice and lifestyle.
Given the advice.
And yes you can find very similiar advice. Because that was where I learned it from.
Not a copy though. What came to my head from my own experience, advice and lifestyle.
anotherperson
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Dating & why do girls like bad guys
Get him doing something and burning some energy and giving him an endorphin rush that makes him less inclined to polish his lance all day and night over cartoon drawings.
Get him doing something and burning some energy and giving him an endorphin rush that makes him less inclined to polish his lance all day and night over cartoon drawings.
sashbash425
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Dating & why do girls like bad guys
OK Mr Nice Guy, I'm curious, what kinda girls is it that are knocking you back exactly? Are they the Nice Girls, or do you go for the wild, sexy unpredictable ones that every other guy is interested in?
OK Mr Nice Guy, I'm curious, what kinda girls is it that are knocking you back exactly? Are they the Nice Girls, or do you go for the wild, sexy unpredictable ones that every other guy is interested in?
kevinfriend
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Dating & why do girls like bad guys
Though the question wasn't aimed at me, i once had a nice girl who was also wild sexy.... she was also just short of insane and completely fake. Now i tend to go for ones which are at least honest.... a rarity in both men and women.
Though the question wasn't aimed at me, i once had a nice girl who was also wild sexy.... she was also just short of insane and completely fake. Now i tend to go for ones which are at least honest.... a rarity in both men and women.
shadysnephew
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Dating & why do girls like bad guys
since becoming a bit of a jerk/ass hole my relationships have improved... no joke
being nice in this world gets you now where
since becoming a bit of a jerk/ass hole my relationships have improved... no joke
being nice in this world gets you now where