hot_car_chica
New member
- Jan 18, 2009
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Basically, I've taken all these online depression screening tests and all of them say like im at risk for severe depression, I know they're not really accurate but i only took them because i feel as though I'm really depressed, and have been for a long time. I'm nineteen, and i feel as though my life isn't going anywhere. I've had insecurity issues for a long time starting from my parents divorce when i was 7. i've thought about death alot in the past and again recently. not just suicide but death in general. i have considered suicide though and i've not done so because i just am afraid of what's after death as i dont believe in god or heaven. i'm afraid to not exist but i've become despondent with my life.
The thing is, i've always tried to be strong because if i ever confide in my mother, who i live with, she just uses it against me when she gets angry. (my mother suffered from depression and my sis is bi polar...we're a pretty messed up family). i went away for a year to college and have struggled with alcohol and drug use, also promiscuity i believe may be because of my insecurity, but she brings up the alcohol and drugs whenever she wants to put me down. So I can't go to her with the though that im depressed because im ashamed of it and because she'll just use it against me. I don't talk to my father about anything important so def not this. I don't no what to do, but i think i should do something. and it doesnt matter what people say about not being ashamed i cant change how i feel. how would u handle this??
sorry its so long.
The thing is, i've always tried to be strong because if i ever confide in my mother, who i live with, she just uses it against me when she gets angry. (my mother suffered from depression and my sis is bi polar...we're a pretty messed up family). i went away for a year to college and have struggled with alcohol and drug use, also promiscuity i believe may be because of my insecurity, but she brings up the alcohol and drugs whenever she wants to put me down. So I can't go to her with the though that im depressed because im ashamed of it and because she'll just use it against me. I don't talk to my father about anything important so def not this. I don't no what to do, but i think i should do something. and it doesnt matter what people say about not being ashamed i cant change how i feel. how would u handle this??
sorry its so long.