We started dating in December. Had I known that he had just gotten out of a longterm relationship, I would've said no. We grew up together and had been talking everyday for the past two years. We live in separate countries and I was willing to move to his. Things started to go down hill when on his facebook page, I found out he had 150 female friends. He always called them sweetheart, beautiful, I love you, etc... Anytime we had trouble in our relationship, he would spill it on there. I was pretty mortified. I asked him to change his relationship status and to take down the many albums of his ex-girlfriend because we needed to have proof that we were a couple for the fiance visa. He went ballistic. I asked him to learn my language and he refused. So I said maybe we should break up and he would blow. If I made a comment to a guy, he got jealous. He started asking me for money, which I sent him a little and he started to ask for more and more.
I was getting ready to visit him last week. He suddenly started to say that I wasn't obligated to come, that he was super busy, etc... He said he hated his family and didn't want me visting them. I grew up with them and wanted to see them. So I went ahead and scheduled a small lunch with them. He just freaked out on me big time. He told me he no longer wanted me to come, so I cancelled the ticket.
His little "galpal" and him discussed how positively awful I was online and she can make fun of him online without him getting upset, etc...I was crushed. He also wrote how unhappy he was and that he was going to have to make some significant chances in his life. His new girlfriend kept saying that she would give him the stability and happiness he deserved.
A month ago, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that spread to six organs and have to have a massive surgery. I told him this and he grew cold towards me.
I asked him if were still together the next day and he said that he loved me but he didn't know what he wanted. So I wrote him this letter. I want to ask you if you think it was good and effective.
"David,
I will never be well. I am a kind, good, loyal person, and I've realized that you're someone who doesn't know what they want. I know that you're in love with someone else, and hey that's great, but it's killing me.
My life is really complicated right now. It's not going to be easy for me and it won't be very easy for you either if you are with me. I love you. I want you to be happy and I wish you nothing but the best.
I don't want to be facebook friends anymore and I don't want to talk to you either because it will ge too difficult for me; and I need all the strength I can muster for my upcoming surgery. I really do hope everything goes well for you."
My question is was this the right way to end it and do you think he felt an ounce of hurt when he read this. I want your opinion because I blocked all communication with him and have no idea how it went over.
I was getting ready to visit him last week. He suddenly started to say that I wasn't obligated to come, that he was super busy, etc... He said he hated his family and didn't want me visting them. I grew up with them and wanted to see them. So I went ahead and scheduled a small lunch with them. He just freaked out on me big time. He told me he no longer wanted me to come, so I cancelled the ticket.
His little "galpal" and him discussed how positively awful I was online and she can make fun of him online without him getting upset, etc...I was crushed. He also wrote how unhappy he was and that he was going to have to make some significant chances in his life. His new girlfriend kept saying that she would give him the stability and happiness he deserved.
A month ago, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that spread to six organs and have to have a massive surgery. I told him this and he grew cold towards me.
I asked him if were still together the next day and he said that he loved me but he didn't know what he wanted. So I wrote him this letter. I want to ask you if you think it was good and effective.
"David,
I will never be well. I am a kind, good, loyal person, and I've realized that you're someone who doesn't know what they want. I know that you're in love with someone else, and hey that's great, but it's killing me.
My life is really complicated right now. It's not going to be easy for me and it won't be very easy for you either if you are with me. I love you. I want you to be happy and I wish you nothing but the best.
I don't want to be facebook friends anymore and I don't want to talk to you either because it will ge too difficult for me; and I need all the strength I can muster for my upcoming surgery. I really do hope everything goes well for you."
My question is was this the right way to end it and do you think he felt an ounce of hurt when he read this. I want your opinion because I blocked all communication with him and have no idea how it went over.