Rachel_Louise33
New member
- Oct 19, 2010
- 1
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I left home over ten years ago. I was the last to leave, but left it as long as I could. In hindsight, this was a bad idea...because my mom does'nt have the best relationship with my other three siblings, she became more dependant on me.
She still adores them of course because they turned out 'normal' whereas I am her messed up son. That's her view, even though she has'nt said it, at least not for nearly twenty years.
While I may not be ideal, I have always done my best for her, and the other three, in contrast, do nothing for her. Anything I do for her seems to be taken forgranted. Her words and actions are two different things.
When we do fight, she says sorry but does'nt seem to change for the better.
So, now that I work for myself (I like many could not get re-employed since redundancy last year) she thinks I have much more time to go and visit her. She does'nt understand I have to get the business in, and she has to be secondary to that.
I was visiting her every week, but now I have to cut even that down because she upset me so much and lays guilt on me every week saying things like 'I have no one, just the tv to watch'..'I am on my own' (her choice) and 'you used to call me three times a day' (I was working full time and actually had more time then, strange as that sounds).
She never mentions what the other three should be doing.
I even tried to teach her simple exercises to keep fit, and train her on my old pc so she could have it.
But she is not interested. All her efforts seem to be aimed at bringing me down.
I know she wants me to move back home, but that will never happen.
How do you cope with your parents now? I am sorry she is on her own, and seemingly suffers from anxiety attacks but could fly to Singapore to see my brother.
I even put her on match.com to see if any decent guys could be matched with her. But she is retired, divorced, and bitter.
I've had serious health problems like a brain aneurysm and SVT (heart condition) to deal with this year and I need her to give me a break.
How would you handle it?
She still adores them of course because they turned out 'normal' whereas I am her messed up son. That's her view, even though she has'nt said it, at least not for nearly twenty years.
While I may not be ideal, I have always done my best for her, and the other three, in contrast, do nothing for her. Anything I do for her seems to be taken forgranted. Her words and actions are two different things.
When we do fight, she says sorry but does'nt seem to change for the better.
So, now that I work for myself (I like many could not get re-employed since redundancy last year) she thinks I have much more time to go and visit her. She does'nt understand I have to get the business in, and she has to be secondary to that.
I was visiting her every week, but now I have to cut even that down because she upset me so much and lays guilt on me every week saying things like 'I have no one, just the tv to watch'..'I am on my own' (her choice) and 'you used to call me three times a day' (I was working full time and actually had more time then, strange as that sounds).
She never mentions what the other three should be doing.
I even tried to teach her simple exercises to keep fit, and train her on my old pc so she could have it.
But she is not interested. All her efforts seem to be aimed at bringing me down.
I know she wants me to move back home, but that will never happen.
How do you cope with your parents now? I am sorry she is on her own, and seemingly suffers from anxiety attacks but could fly to Singapore to see my brother.
I even put her on match.com to see if any decent guys could be matched with her. But she is retired, divorced, and bitter.
I've had serious health problems like a brain aneurysm and SVT (heart condition) to deal with this year and I need her to give me a break.
How would you handle it?