Do we place an overemphasis on the importance of humor in a relationship?

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Savageserenity

New member
My wife and I are compatible in many ways. But she has a better sense of humor than I. She often makes others laugh. I seldom accomplish that. She also makes me laugh a lot.

Am I right to feel badly in that I cannot entertain and make people laugh as well as she does? I do have an inferiority complex about it. But should I?

Do we, as a society, put too much importance on the ability of one spouse (or girlfriend/boyfriend) to make the other laugh? Or is it really a critical part of a relationship?
 
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Binstishappy

New member
Don't worry, it's not a stand-up-comedian competition. Just let her be herself and enjoy her sense of humour. I bet she loves you for what and who you are, so stay yourself. There are many other virtues then a sense of humour.
 
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KatieM

Member
Just because you are married to her doesn't mean you have to have the same type of sense of humor.
I think humor is an important part of a relationship, at least it's important in mine and it sounds like you enjoy her sense of humor too. Do you know how many men wish they had this problem? Instead of feeling inferior about it be grateful she's not some grumpy, bi*chy type of person. I bet there are a few qualities that you have and she is lacking.
 
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Riah

New member
I don't think we put too much on humor--sometimes, I feel like the world is undervaluing it, and lacking it in many areas, and relationships is one of those big areas. However...you have it. You just aren't the one providing the majority of it.

What can you do that she can't? In a good relationship, the partner should be able to make up for your shortcomings, and vice-virsa. You shouldn't feel bad about it...that's just who you are, and your wife doesn't seem to mind, does she?

I don't think this is really about humor...it's about the insecurities we all have in relationships..."Am I good enough?" I'd say yes, you're doing just fine. If your wife starts complaining that you're a grouch or something, THEN I would be worried. But why give yourself an unnecessary complex when the marriage appears to work fine?

If you still can't figure it out...ask her what you bring to the relationship. Tell her your feelings, and let her tell you how she feels about it. Who better to ease your fears?
 
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Katie

Active member
No, I think YOU are placing an overemphasis on the importance of humour in a relationship. Stop competing with your wife. You both can't be good at everything. That would make you a very boring couple. People are different. Delight in the fact that she can make you laugh. Trust me, it's not a critical part of a relationship. You are being too hard on yourself. Lighten up!
 
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ANNiE

Member
Both partners do not have a sense of humor and make others laugh. You are fine, do not worry about it. You have your own personality.
Let her intertain you and be happy. If its working, do not try to fix it.
 
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LJane

New member
Just beacuse your not naturally an entertainer doesn't mean you dont make her laugh! Dont forget opposites work better, you fill gaps and make a sence of feeling as one. I would not worry about this, your 2 peas in a pod x
 
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Clayton

Member
I sure hope that humor is important. It's the only thing I have going for me. I wouldn't worry about it. Everyone has their own strengths. If you're not the funny type than you're not the funny type. Feeling bad about it won't change anything. I'm sure your wife doesn't care or she wouldn't have married you.
 
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Libby

Member
I sometimes wish I had one of those magnetic personalities where I instantly become the light of every crowd, but I don't, and that's just that. I do have a sense of humor, but not everyone gets it. That's fine with me. ;)

Rather than being envious of your wife, be glad you chose a spouse who has a talent that you don't. It's good to expose yourself to people you admire, whether they're successful, intelligent, charismatic, hard-working, physically fit, extroverted... just being around people with traits you admire does rub off a little the longer you know someone.

I think you should be proud of your wife and her ability to entertain and put others at ease. I'm sure you have skills and talents that she doesn't, as well. That's part of what makes a marriage work -- both people are able to pool their strengths, minimize their weaknesses, and both are better off for it. =)
 
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bettym

Member
What's important is NOT that you can't make others laugh, but rather that you can see the humor in others and laugh with them.

If people are laughing and having a good time and you're just sitting there with a straight face and you just don't get it or can't let go and laugh. Then you have a problem.

Some people are good at making people laugh and others are good at enjoying their humor. Don't worry, you're okay. Just keep on enjoying your life the way you have been. You and your spouse seem to be a good match and compliment each other.
 
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COMFORTER

New member
Im like you, and my husband is the funny one! ive been trying to get more of a since of humor!A nd try not to be so serous. But I love to be around funny people.My husband is so funny he can make up his own jokes,hes really funny !
 
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AskMe1

New member
I think everyone has different personality traits. Some have a good sense of humor others are good listeners. I don't think you should feel bad. The fact that we are all different is what makes life fun and interesting. You do have a sense of humor, can you laugh at yourself, find humor in others..yes, so stop worrying.
 
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debi

Member
I adored my first husband and he was definitely what I call humor-impaired. No sense of humor at all! But that made no difference in my feelings for him.

Laughter and camaraderie are important parts of any relationship - romantic or otherwise. But as long as both of you are laughing, who cares which spouse is the funny one?
 
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silver

Member
A sense of humor is not just the ability to make other people laugh. It is being able to appreciate other people's humor and laugh with them, or being able to laugh at your own silly mistakes, among other things. It's not just so one-sided as just being a funny person.

I think you are being a little hard on yourself. It sounds like you do have a sense of humor, because you recognize your wife's ability to make you and others laugh, but that you, yourself, are not naturally a witty person, and apparently she is a-okay with that, so why worry?

And, having said that, to me a sense of humor has always been in my Top 3 criteria of what I want in a guy. But, again, he doesn't have to be rolling on floor hilarious...just able to appreciate a sense of humor.

Hope that makes sense.
 
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