Do you like my first 2 chapters?

[BrittneyeMeKabasta]

I am A teen Who needs help how do you like my firs 2 chapters? here is he link


http://www.worthyofpublishing.com/book.asp?book_ID=4200

 

[Danrad]

I liked it it. It was fairly fast paced and exciting for the start the book. I think the Second chapter was a little boring but its still pretty good over all.

 

[breannanicole9630]

i love it!!!
that was great you should be a Professional!!

 

[I'mthenewcancer]

No, it was bad.
You write like Steph Meyer, and you shouldn't take that as a compliment.

 

[Elvendork]

Frankly, I didn't really like it. For some reason, even though you jumped right into the action, I wasn't really hooked. It seemed to drag on a bit.

And it isn't very realistic. I quote:

"I'm seventeen, and I've been a vampire for about four hundred years."
"Seriously?" I was amazed.

They've only just met, and he's telling her that he's a vampire. And she's amazed, not terrified. It's really not very realistic.

 

[mWOLFRAMmthewarlock]

fast paced,and good work,but need to see logic in afew places.like one says above me...onclude some more shock in the girl when he says about his vampirehood.