hi am writing a story this is the begining i hope you like it and am only 13 so please be nice and ino my editing is not good so just focus of the story please and please share any idea's you have for my story or for the characters but here is my story:
The garden blossomed with flowers of all different colours, the emerald green grass stood proudly as the bright golden sun shined upon them, beauty sparkled in every corner outside the large Victorian house, admiring the garden she smelt the deep red roses as she walked towards the pine wooden door KNOCK, a few minutes went buy as Jesse stood patiently until a cheerful small petite woman answered the door “hello darling come in” she whispered “hey Julie” she replied, the horrifying smell of death loomed the house as Jesse sat down to relax in the living room helping herself to the delicious chocolate chip biscuits suddenly her legs went numb and she slid off the chair onto the cold marble stone floor screaming for help she panicked, Julie victoriously clutched Jesse’s pale weak hand by now the drugs had kicked in and she was out cold, smiling Julie checked Jesse's pulse and was thankful she was still alive, wrapping Jesse’s arm around her neck she helped her down the old rotten stairs towards the dark and dreary attic.
Waking up Jesse scared and confused huddled into the corner the room was spine-chilling, the hairs on the back of her neck stood when she heard footsteps approaching, walking towards her was a tall slim hansom young man wearing pitch black sunglasses and an expensive Armani suit, letting out a sigh of relief he obsessively washed his hands then let out a piercing stare at Jesse “please just let me go” Jesse begged her fragile body shaking with fright “just let me go” he mimicked Jesse’s frightened voice as he reached for a blood-stained dagger.
so how do you likeit, if you have negative comments please try n be nice am only 13 and tried my hardest ino my puntuaction and editing isn't good but please just focus on the story on wht you like an wht you dont and share any ideas you have for my story or characters and would you like to read on.
thanks hope you enjoyed it
The garden blossomed with flowers of all different colours, the emerald green grass stood proudly as the bright golden sun shined upon them, beauty sparkled in every corner outside the large Victorian house, admiring the garden she smelt the deep red roses as she walked towards the pine wooden door KNOCK, a few minutes went buy as Jesse stood patiently until a cheerful small petite woman answered the door “hello darling come in” she whispered “hey Julie” she replied, the horrifying smell of death loomed the house as Jesse sat down to relax in the living room helping herself to the delicious chocolate chip biscuits suddenly her legs went numb and she slid off the chair onto the cold marble stone floor screaming for help she panicked, Julie victoriously clutched Jesse’s pale weak hand by now the drugs had kicked in and she was out cold, smiling Julie checked Jesse's pulse and was thankful she was still alive, wrapping Jesse’s arm around her neck she helped her down the old rotten stairs towards the dark and dreary attic.
Waking up Jesse scared and confused huddled into the corner the room was spine-chilling, the hairs on the back of her neck stood when she heard footsteps approaching, walking towards her was a tall slim hansom young man wearing pitch black sunglasses and an expensive Armani suit, letting out a sigh of relief he obsessively washed his hands then let out a piercing stare at Jesse “please just let me go” Jesse begged her fragile body shaking with fright “just let me go” he mimicked Jesse’s frightened voice as he reached for a blood-stained dagger.
so how do you likeit, if you have negative comments please try n be nice am only 13 and tried my hardest ino my puntuaction and editing isn't good but please just focus on the story on wht you like an wht you dont and share any ideas you have for my story or characters and would you like to read on.
thanks hope you enjoyed it