But how can you not take advantage of some of those great deals? At this moment, I am prepared to sell you a set of 20 knives that are so sharp you can slice frozen meat or trim your laurel hedge with them, AND, they never need sharpening. Even better, they are made in Japan so you know they are good. If you order within the 30 seconds, I will include a sharpening stone made from rock ejected from the center of the earth when Mount St. Helens erupted. You get all this for only $1 plus shipping and handling. If you mortgage your home, sell your vehicle(s) and put your kids to work, you should have plenty to cover shipping and handling.
I hope you all know I am kidding.