...something about it? first off, i know my problems are trivial compared to all the shit that happens to people in this world, but i cant help how i feel.
i have reaaaaaaaaally low self esteem , ever since i was like 14, im 19 now - mostly about my looks. Ok people have said i could model and watever, but seriously they must be freakin blind or something, it really embaresses me when people even say that, becuase i know everyone else is like "wtf".
I use to cut myself (stupid) and consider suicide, but i know that i could never go through with it.
Anyway, now that im in college and have the choice to whether i go to class or not, i hardly EVER go, like once a week maybe. I just cant make myself leave the house, in fact i hardly go out at all, cos i start getting really upset with how i look, and cant stand the thought of people looking at me. I just get really anxious and have like a emotional breakdown.
When my brother came to stay the week at my house, i woke up at 5oclock in the morning everyday to put my makeup on, so that he could not see my face without it. I do this when any1 stays the night.
I also get really paranoid when just going to the letterbox. I have to fix up my hair, clothes, makeup just incase someone sees me.
DO you think this is just standard stuff, or should i get help? my parents dont know about it, they just think im lazy since i never want to go out to do stuff. And it really does not help that i was a attractive girl until like i was 15, and every1 always says to me "wow you looked so different when you were younger." so i know that must mean they think im ugly now.
i have reaaaaaaaaally low self esteem , ever since i was like 14, im 19 now - mostly about my looks. Ok people have said i could model and watever, but seriously they must be freakin blind or something, it really embaresses me when people even say that, becuase i know everyone else is like "wtf".
I use to cut myself (stupid) and consider suicide, but i know that i could never go through with it.
Anyway, now that im in college and have the choice to whether i go to class or not, i hardly EVER go, like once a week maybe. I just cant make myself leave the house, in fact i hardly go out at all, cos i start getting really upset with how i look, and cant stand the thought of people looking at me. I just get really anxious and have like a emotional breakdown.
When my brother came to stay the week at my house, i woke up at 5oclock in the morning everyday to put my makeup on, so that he could not see my face without it. I do this when any1 stays the night.
I also get really paranoid when just going to the letterbox. I have to fix up my hair, clothes, makeup just incase someone sees me.
DO you think this is just standard stuff, or should i get help? my parents dont know about it, they just think im lazy since i never want to go out to do stuff. And it really does not help that i was a attractive girl until like i was 15, and every1 always says to me "wow you looked so different when you were younger." so i know that must mean they think im ugly now.