Does this article make you laugh? Regarding aggression and spanking?

Ican'tgottI'llgo

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http://health.yahoo.com/featured/100/spanking-and-kids-aggression-3-alternatives-to-spanking-that-work-for-parents-and-kids/

I'm sorry... but the parents who had to spank reported more agression because it is the aggressive kids that required the spanking!

Any study can be twisted, and this one has tied itself in knots.
 
i think that whatever works for your child, as long as it's not abusive, spanking is just a way to get your child's attention, a reasonable person will not spank out of anger, but to show the child that what they did was wrong, some may respond better to time outs, just as some may respond better to getting spanked, parenthood is a road of experimenting with how your child reacts, my little brothers and sisters were not spanked, and they're extremely aggressive, though my cousins who were spanked, are well adjusted, well behaved teenagers.
 
Any amount of evidence will always be ignored by those determined to ignore it. We still have flat-earthers too. There will always be those who refuse to progress and will stick their heads in the sand.
 
I was spanked as a kid. I'm so aggressive I can't even send back food when they get my order wrong at restaurants.

You can do all the studies you want on spanking, but I go by what I see not by what I hear from some study. Kids are becoming worse and worse. Why? Because less and less parents are spanking!

Remember when we were young, how we didn't even raise our voices to our parents? Yesterday I saw a kid at the mall slap his mother in the face. Enough said.
 
I think the article is a little bit of a mess. Yes.

The problem with this whole issue isn't "to spank or not to spank".
The problem revolves around the way spankings are administered and also how the parents interact with their children any other hour of the day.

If a parent is consistent with reprimanding their child in a non-physical way, provides guidance, praises their child when they learn to do what they are being told, and paid some honest-to-goodness attention, then children frequently respect their parents for consistency and for the sense of being loved that the child feels.

If the child is unruly, disobedient, and consistently disrespectful to other children and adults, then firmer punishment is required (especially if the child's actions are going to lead them to urgent physical harm, like disobeying instruction to avoid a traffic filled street or playing with a hot stove).

If this kind of punishment is required, a parent should be certain to sit down with the child face to face, eye contact is necessary, and tell the child what action was unacceptable, why, and that they must listen next time. A hug can be given immediately or maybe 15 minutes later with a quick "I love you and you need to learn to behave".

The problem is that a lot of parents who openly admit to spanking (not all, but many) are the same parents who don't sit down and talk through the issue with their child. They express aggressive behaviors in their daily activity. They yell at people in traffic, they fight with other adults verbally in front of their kids, they let their children watch violent television at an impressionable age, maybe they are even the same families who suffer domestic violence, or allow their children to spend time alone with other kids who act out because of those stimulants. They physically punish their child out of anger and sometimes with little regard to force. Children are impressionable and do as you teach them. If you don't teach them, they do what they see.

If parents don't actively protect their child's innocence and actively provide guidance and instruction maturely and sensitively, they can expect to have kids who don't understand how to behave or to regulate their actions when needed. If physical punishment is needed that's for the parent to decide WISELY based on their child. If it's not needed and can be handled by taking away toys, privileges, or some other temporal thing for a short and designated period, that should happen first.

Spanking for caring parents:
1. If possible do not ever spank a child in public(this includes in front of their friends), you are seeking to get their respect and obedience, not embarrass/humiliate them.
2. If you are angry, tell them you are going to punish them when you get home or tell them to sit somewhere for 5 minutes and you will deal with the issue together when you've had time to cool down. Never spank when you are angry.
3. Here is the dialogue that worked when I was younger. My parents were fantastic at getting my attention and making me understand that what was happening was good for me and I needed to learn from it. After a spanking, they'd give me a few seconds to regain my composure so I could pay attention to what they needed me to learn.

Do you know why I spanked you?
-let the child answer... yes, no, i don't know-
You were doing something that is not acceptable and will not be tolerated again, you did...
-tell them specifically what they did, that you do not want to happen again-.
Do you understand why you can't...?
-repeat again the name/description of the action(s) you want them to refrain from-
-let them answer-
-if they don't know, explain in more detail the potential danger or explain why it is unacceptable behavior
What will happen the next time that you.... ?
-let them answer, if they don't know remind them they could get spanked or what the other consequences would be (example touching a hot stove- You could burn yourself and end up in the hospital, maybe have bandages and not be able to play w your trucks for a long long time)
Do you want that to happen?
-let them answer verbally-
Will you let this happen again?
-make sure they specifically say No-
Ok. Good. Do you know that I love you?
-they need to answer this too-
Okay, give me a hug. -hugs-
Now let's go play video games, make dinner, (whatever normal action is supposed to be happening).

I don't feel that is questionable parenting. That is responsible parenting.
It takes wisdom and maturity to parent, it's not the spanking alone that brings positive results.
Spanking isn't always needed. Wisdom, mature judgement, and patience are required.
 
In my experience its the kids who weren't spanked that are the obnoxious ones when they are older. How else do you discipline a 3 year old?

Does anyone else find their heart just sinks when they see a parent trying to use verbal discipline on a toddler "You shoud not have done that. It was vewwy vewwy nawty" and the kid obviously isn't listening.

Smacking older kids and teenagers is messed up though.
 
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