Easy ten points!!!?
- Thread starter Yessica
- Start date
hamelhasgas
New member
- Apr 7, 2008
- 20
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this is a stupid story,
once my stepdad came home from work really late in the summer from his contracting job and he was building,
so there was no toilets... he pooped himself because hes stupid and gay... and decided to throw it in our tree like the gay stupid person he is. my moms raking under the tree that he threw it in and it fell on her head.
once my stepdad came home from work really late in the summer from his contracting job and he was building,
so there was no toilets... he pooped himself because hes stupid and gay... and decided to throw it in our tree like the gay stupid person he is. my moms raking under the tree that he threw it in and it fell on her head.
H
Heather B
Guest
ok it is a little dirty, so i will clean it up a bit....
a guy walks into a strange bar and sits down at the counter. there is a fish bowl on the counter, and men are putting in a dollar going out to the barn coming back in and drinking it up. the stranger asks what that is all about...the bartender says, if you can make my horse laugh, you can tsake the bowl of money home.
so the guy drops in a buck, goes out to the barn comes back in and grabs the bowl and is ready to leave...the bartender is like whoa buddy...hold up, i need to see if you actually made the horse laugh...
so he comes back and says to the bar sure enough the horse is laughing so hard he is crying
a couple weeks later thje same stranger comes back to the bar and sees another fish bowl on the counter. he asks the bartender whats up with this one. he says well the horse has been laughing so hard we want him to cry....so the guy is like what the hell, i did it a couple weeks ago, i think i can do it again
the stranger comes back in from the barn and takes the bowl and tries to leave again. the bartender is like whoa i know you did it a coulple weeks ago, but i still need to make sure....
sure enough the horse was bawling like a baby....the bartender is like stranger what did you do or sAY for this sto happen?
srtanger replies......
i told the horse a couple weeks ago i had a biger weewee then him......he laughed his butt off.....today i showed it to him!
man it is alot easier to say then to type out!!! LOL!!!
a guy walks into a strange bar and sits down at the counter. there is a fish bowl on the counter, and men are putting in a dollar going out to the barn coming back in and drinking it up. the stranger asks what that is all about...the bartender says, if you can make my horse laugh, you can tsake the bowl of money home.
so the guy drops in a buck, goes out to the barn comes back in and grabs the bowl and is ready to leave...the bartender is like whoa buddy...hold up, i need to see if you actually made the horse laugh...
so he comes back and says to the bar sure enough the horse is laughing so hard he is crying
a couple weeks later thje same stranger comes back to the bar and sees another fish bowl on the counter. he asks the bartender whats up with this one. he says well the horse has been laughing so hard we want him to cry....so the guy is like what the hell, i did it a couple weeks ago, i think i can do it again
the stranger comes back in from the barn and takes the bowl and tries to leave again. the bartender is like whoa i know you did it a coulple weeks ago, but i still need to make sure....
sure enough the horse was bawling like a baby....the bartender is like stranger what did you do or sAY for this sto happen?
srtanger replies......
i told the horse a couple weeks ago i had a biger weewee then him......he laughed his butt off.....today i showed it to him!
man it is alot easier to say then to type out!!! LOL!!!
S
sarah e
Guest
Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic.
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet Her at a party, or what?"
"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in Her biology class."
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet Her at a party, or what?"
"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in Her biology class."
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♥Brittany♥
Guest
Here is one...
A man checked into a hotel in Jamaica. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed the wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the 1st message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've reached
Date: November 30, 2005
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here; we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!
PS. Sure is hot down here!
A man checked into a hotel in Jamaica. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed the wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the 1st message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've reached
Date: November 30, 2005
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here; we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!
PS. Sure is hot down here!
K
Kelly
Guest
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago."
"Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water."
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake".
or this?
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago."
"Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water."
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake".
or this?
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday
L
Luke
Guest
Little Johnny and Susie are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love.
One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Susie's father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Susie's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Susie."
Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance - Susie makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"
Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."
One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Susie's father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Susie's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Susie."
Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance - Susie makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"
Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."
K
Kelly
Guest
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago."
"Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water."
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake".
or this?
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago."
"Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water."
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake".
or this?
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday