Excuses

[petaslaughtersanimals]

Ok I'm 5 weeks into the first job I've had in nearly 15 years and I've got a 2nd interview for a great job on Wednesday and an induction for a contract for my company (still kept it mothballed) on Thursday so I need 2 days off.

I don't have any holidays so I'm looking at sickness and diarrhea for two days this week. I think this is a little obvious and quite frankly a boring excuse to take the time off so I need something either funny and believable or something that will make them sudder at the oraffice.

Help me out guys, I want a laugh whilst dicking my present employer as they really do deserve it.

What's my illness?

 

[AngiXD]

Chlamydia?

 

[LexiLooHoo]

Priapism.

 

[mattym]

hmmm, I dunno, sickness and diarrhea have served me well in the past! Everybody gets it, theres no warning symptoms and they don't want to ask too many questions about it.

Unless you've got any preexisting medical condition they already know about I'd go with ''I just feel sick and I really can't go too far from a toilet today''

 

[Bella]

Head Lice!

Tell them you have head lice all over your house and you can't take it anymore... I would likely take a very large step back away from you if you told me that. Make sure you scratch your head and nuts when telling them face to face...!!!

I bet it'll work!

 

[keanukenela]

That's what I thought but as I don't really care and I'm out of there regardless I thought I could have some fun. A 4 hour+ hard-on is the best so far but what's unusual about that?

 

[StuartD]

Brevity?

Mitch

 

[HuongHue]

You're not helping

 

[WillR]

Tell them you need the time to off make a music video to win back the love of your life. Then post it here.

regards koyo

 

[ashley_luvs_hockey]

Tell them you were stuck in your mind portal.

 

[marvinA]

Koyo wins, as usual

Mitch

 

[LynlZ]

also known as douchebagitis

walk in wearing something that looks like you are trying to keep yourself away from the outside world(wear a hoody with a bunch of saran wrap over it maybe?)
tell him you've got " a mysterious oozing rash "
and i guess just take it from there?

 

[Serene]

Or you could wear a coat with a hoodie backwards stand in front of them and they might think your leaving.

sorry I can't believe I posted that.

regards koyo

 

[surfergirl]

I'm glad you did, that's the wine finished and I can go to bed now. Once I've finished wiping down the monitor.

 

[noteheree2emakeefriendse]

I got it...head lice pornography!...wait a sec...that is very disturbing...

 

[xxpreetiixx]

I know some people have nicknames for parts of their anatomy but frankly calling it a monitor smacks of arrogance.

enviously koyo

 

[christinat]

T......Tw............Twa.................LOL

 

[ushigley]

Goodnight all

 

[corney]

Well for a good one, you could go with gallbladder attack (its when it expands and contracts) or just had the beast removed, with laparoscopic surgery it only takes about 1-3 days to get better(including surg) ... although not having a scar might be an issue...

 

[Willis]

I intend to hand my notice in on Friday if everything goes Ok so the scar wouldn't be an issue.
At least my hangover will help me look the part this morning