For all teenagers. What do you think of my writing?

Tarek

New member
Joined
Jun 14, 2008
Messages
28
Reaction score
0
Points
1
The three children sat at the floor in front of the fire of the hearth. Sometime later, their grand father came down the stairs. After smiling and nodding to each one of them, he sat at an armchair then placed his staff at his thighs. He had a pointy beard, a crooked nose with a zit at its edge and red lips. But the strangest of all his features was his eyes. His left eye was grey and his right eye was red.

The only girl sitting among the three kids got to her feet and pointed at the door of the living room. “Grandpa...” she screamed, “There are fumes at the door,”

The kids gasped and looked at the door. Red fumes emerged out of thin air, twirling and vanishing against the white ceiling.

Grandpa grinned and said, “I know,” He lowered his gaze then turned his head at the fumes. “Casaldoph.” He said gently, “Show them yourself, please.”

The fumes vanished and reappeared above the head of grandpa. They gathered in one, big ball. A black tinge started to appear at the middle of the ball and its red color began to disappear slowly. The other two kids got to their feet; their lips parting. After a few seconds, the red ball had transformed into a red creature with filmy skin, green eyes and a small horn at the middle of his forehead.

“ Hello,” the creature said, flying in a circle with his legs crossed in a yoga position. “ What will we do today Master?”

Grandpa raised his head to the creature who was now hovering around the chandelier hanging from the ceiling. “ we’ll tell the kids a story.”

The creature grinned, opened his legs and slowly descended to the floor. “ I love stories.” He said, walking towards the kids. They all began gasping and moved backward. The creature vanished and reappeared behind them. They screamed and jumped to their feet. The creature began laughing and his color changed from red to blue, but after the laughing subsided his color returned back to red.

“ Come here,” grandpa gestured at the creature who vanished once again and reappeared at grandpa’s chair, bowing against his head. Grandpa whispered something that the children wished they could hear, but they couldn’t. For a moment, the girl thought that grandpa was speaking a different language but that was a ridiculous idea, she thought.

The creature vanished once again and reappeared at the middle of the living room, in front of grandpa who sat motionless. “ I’m goning to tell you the story of how death emerged at the beginning of time.” His voice by that point was lower and darker. “ Get ready.” He raised both hands in the air and all of a sudden the walls of the house vanished, followed by grandpa who flew high up as if hooked up by an invisible rope.

The three kids shrieked as they found themselves falling into a deep abyss. A few moments later, the abyss vanished and they found themselves lying on white, soft sand.

“ Grandpa, “ the boy with the red hair said, “ where’s grandpa.”

The other boy with the blue eyes, walked forward among the trees. He vanished among the shrubs. During that time, the girl and the boy with the red hair grasped each other hands and waited for their brother to return.

Some minutes, later they heard a loud scream. They screamed themselves and ran into the wood, but fear held them back and they returned to the spot where they were standing first.

Silence prevailed for sometime. But while they were standing, there arms closet to each other, the thick shrubbery in front of them moved and out of no where their brother appeared with his red face, yellow hair and blue eyes.

“ I found grandpa and the red creature, “ he screamed at them.

The girl threw at him a small stone to her side for causing her such a shock but eventually she followed him along with her other brother.

After walking for some time, they found a beautiful beach on which grandpa slept with his staff resting against his chest.

The red creature was walking at the water catching some fish with his bare hands.

“ grandpa,” the girl said, poking her grandfather with one finger at his neck. “ wake up.”

The boy with the blue eyes pushed one of his lid open and slowly he let it to slid back down.

“ he’s dead,” his brother said, putting his hand against his lips. “ there’s no breath.”

“ well done my boy,” The creature with the red horn appeared behind the kids. “ your grandfather is dead, but for just now.”

The red horned creature started hovering around the motionless body of grandpa, humming a strange song with his eyes resting over the body.

After some minutes, the creature stopped and smiled a the dead body.

Slowly, grandpa started coughing and he sat up. “ thanks,”

The red horned creature bowed and vanished back into the water.

Grandpa got to his feet as strong as ever. “ Death is nothing but a journey from which you can return. But you must learn how to catch the soul before it reaches a place where you can’t get it.”
 
Back
Top