how i'ma do the next? I think i'm having a little crush on my close guy friend. We used to be the closest in our gang (im the closest girl to him while he is the closest guy to me) and now we're still close. But since i found myself feel more than friends with him i tried hard to keep myself from that feeling because i know he's having crush on another girl which idk. i just don't feel like letting myself hurt since i know it must be hurt if i let myself fall for him deeply. But i still like him secretly, not so much, as im controlling myself very hard. When my friends asked about me and him or making jokes on us that we are couple (my friends' parents do think we are couple cause me and him just stick so much together and we're very close to each other even when we go to friends' house together) i would say I do not like an immature guy and wouldn't be with an immature guy, he's just not good enough. And yes, he really doesn't that good, but when love comes i can't really care if he is perfect or not because i just like him although he isn't mature and good enough. I really tried hard and I secretly get his mark minus in my heart when he did something really get me feeling not good (he did it always). I thought i have overcame my crush on him.
Okay, so this is what happened yesterday.
We hang out together with our gang, and when we had buffet lunch together, i saw him keep texting on his phone. Afterwards he showed my female friends the content of his inbox-messages. It's from the girl he likes, she sent him a little part of a song lyrics, which is something like "it's rainy day, i donno what to do with myself, i miss you" and she stopped the lyrics right before "i miss you", she wanted him to figure out himself and know that she's missing him right now. He showed everyone but didn't show it to me cause i know nothing about him and the girl (and i don't really wish to know). But i know this because after he looked at the message, he asked " ' it's rainy day, i donno what to do with myself... ' what does this mean? is it raining right now? " and im the one who told him "i miss you" is the later part of the lyrics. My friend asked him "why don't you just be together as you like each other as well?", he smiled. I feel really hurt to hear this and i became very dumb but i had to conceal my heart's breaking. At the moment only i found i still like him and im still expecting something will happen btwn me and him, but everything vanished at the moment when i saw he asking arnd to get another song lyrics for replying her and text very hard, with sweet and shy smiles.
In the class just now, i heard he told my friends that he succeeded, they're dating now. I was in the group chat but after i heard this, i turned back to my seat and lie on the table, pretended i was sleeping til the class's over. He still talked to me just now and showed me some interesting stuff on the newspaper but i just acted very indifferent to him.
What can i do now? Should I wait for him? What if they last forever? This might be a possibility. Or just let this feeling fades while time goes? I feel really down and depress now and every moment. We're having group study tomorrow with the gang, as regularly, yet i don't feel like existing. I can't stop thinking the moments me and him shared and everything he told me.
Thanks alot for reading this, i just need someone to listen to me as i've never tell any of my friends about him and wish to get some advice or comfort from you guys. Thank you, God bless.
Okay, so this is what happened yesterday.
We hang out together with our gang, and when we had buffet lunch together, i saw him keep texting on his phone. Afterwards he showed my female friends the content of his inbox-messages. It's from the girl he likes, she sent him a little part of a song lyrics, which is something like "it's rainy day, i donno what to do with myself, i miss you" and she stopped the lyrics right before "i miss you", she wanted him to figure out himself and know that she's missing him right now. He showed everyone but didn't show it to me cause i know nothing about him and the girl (and i don't really wish to know). But i know this because after he looked at the message, he asked " ' it's rainy day, i donno what to do with myself... ' what does this mean? is it raining right now? " and im the one who told him "i miss you" is the later part of the lyrics. My friend asked him "why don't you just be together as you like each other as well?", he smiled. I feel really hurt to hear this and i became very dumb but i had to conceal my heart's breaking. At the moment only i found i still like him and im still expecting something will happen btwn me and him, but everything vanished at the moment when i saw he asking arnd to get another song lyrics for replying her and text very hard, with sweet and shy smiles.
In the class just now, i heard he told my friends that he succeeded, they're dating now. I was in the group chat but after i heard this, i turned back to my seat and lie on the table, pretended i was sleeping til the class's over. He still talked to me just now and showed me some interesting stuff on the newspaper but i just acted very indifferent to him.
What can i do now? Should I wait for him? What if they last forever? This might be a possibility. Or just let this feeling fades while time goes? I feel really down and depress now and every moment. We're having group study tomorrow with the gang, as regularly, yet i don't feel like existing. I can't stop thinking the moments me and him shared and everything he told me.
Thanks alot for reading this, i just need someone to listen to me as i've never tell any of my friends about him and wish to get some advice or comfort from you guys. Thank you, God bless.