help me!!!!!! 14yr old daughter issues lol?

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luckyshania

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My 14 yr old thinks that after i go to bed at 11pm (obviously not tonight lol) that if she is still awake she should be allowed to go on the computer to go on facebook, msn etc..... I have told her flat out NO and had to hide the lap top on her everynight. I am not being irrational am i???? to her i am the worst mother ever cause all her friends are allowed on late.
oh yeah and she is on the computer from the minute she gets home at 3;30pm til the time she goes to bed. to me all that computer use is not nessecary.
she deletes the history, and stuff shes been to. shes also made it so her convos dont save to the computer anymore.
 
though it's not bad to get on late. If you don't want her on end of discussion. Facebook is not that important. She's 14 tell her to go to bed. If in the summer and on breaks she's allowed to be up later then let her use the computer, but no matter you're decision she needs to respect and you need to know when you tell her something she'll listen or the computer won't be all you're worrying about.
 
You are doing exactly, what you should be doing. You are not being irrational at all.
 
If she has school the next day than no its not irrational. If you have work at the same time, you shouldn't be able to use it late at night "because you're the mother". At that age girls want to feel equal when it comes to that and you're going to get a lot of "your the worst mother ever" if you treat her like shes a young kid. You need as much sleep as she does. If it's the weekend than I think you should let her as long as her homework and school work is done. If she's being productive there isn't any reason not to let her.
If she feels like she has control of when she can use it by cleaning her room, doing chores, and homework she will accept her computer rules a lot easier and it also teaches her about life in general because if you don't put those things first they won't get done.
During school days put the computer away and don't let her see you getting on. If you have to get on it, wait to get it until after she goes to bed. It's like saying ha ha ha can get on and you can't when she knows you're on it.
If the issue is what she does online, check her history and see if she's doing anything shes not supposed to. If she is than take away the privilige of the computer all together. If you make her feel like she's making the decision by the choices she makes I think you will be successful.
 
Sounds like you're just being a parent to me. . . she should have her girlfriends (FRIENDS) over for sleepovers, talking about boys, giving each other make-overs. Not staying on the computer all night long!
 
That is a bit irrational. I have the computer in my room, & it is currently 11:30pm. I'm only 15 years old. She'll not want to go on at night once she experiences extreme sleep deprivation (a con to being on y!a all the time lol).
 
im 14 also, i think you are correct, if you are not awake you have no control over what she is doin, she should only be allowed on if you are awake
 
ok instead of it coming from a 14 or 15 year old i'll tell you what i think. I am 22 and STILL wouldnt let my child on the computer after i go to bed unless you have a parental block on the computer. Either way you can supervise each page she goes to and everything if you check the history of the internet if she does get on it. its at the top of the internet page and says history. Click it and go down the list to where it says View all and it will show you EVERYTHING that she has looked at unless she knows how to delete it. you can also track her cookies. But no i wouldnt let her. children do things they shouldnt do online. Why is it such a big deal to her to be on AFTER you go to bed anyways is she trying to hide something. I agree with you and im only 22.
 
Im 23 years old, and i can tell you that the more you say NO, the harder she will try to get under your skin. Compromise with her. Maybe allow her to do so only 1 or 2 nights a week. There are much worse things your 14 yr old could be doing. I would consider yourself lucky that late night computer use is all you are fighting about.Teenagers act out the more you badger about the little things.For example: my mother hated the gut i dated in high school. I dated him from age 13 all the way to freshman yr in college. She did absolutly everything in her power to keep me from seeing him. We dated for 6 yrs, and not because he was a good guy. He wasnt always a good guy, but the more she pulled, the harder i pushed. Spite was what kept us together for 6 yrs, defiantly not love.
 
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