ickybanana
New member
Hi guys. My husband has started dipping again in the last year. When we got married almost 5 years ago he promised he would quit dipping- it was a condition for the marriage. My grandfather died a horrible death from cancer from chewing tobacco and I am not going to go through that again.
He got a can of dip as a joke from a friend for his birthday last year and he asked if he could just use this one can and I said OK as long as it was just this one can. Huge mistake. Now it has just been causing problems ever since.
He just uses the excuse "it's my vice, everyone has a vice." I explain that he has an ADDICTION not a vice. I drink martinis a few times a week. THATS a vice. I told him I don't mind if he drinks or even smokes pot. It's not the idea of a vice I have issues with- its his specific vice I have problems with.
He just says " If you can drink then I can chew" or he says " I'll dip casually when you drink". HE DOESN'T GET IT! I try explaining they are NOT the same thing! Even keeping that stuff in your mouth for 3 hours a week is BAD FOR YOU. It is not equivalent to having a martini or two!
An addict can't ever smoke/drink casually once they have had an established addiction. Thats the reason an alcoholic has to give up alcohol forever if they ever want to recover. Once they have been an alcoholic they can't ever just "drink casually" because their brain chemistry reacts differently to alcohol.
When you talk to a true recovered smoker they say things like " I haven't had a cigarette in 15 years" they don't say " I quit smoking but I still smoke two or three times a week." Thats bullshit!
Sorry for the venting but I just want advice on how to counter his argument. He says he'll give up dipping if I give up drinking. Or he will dip when I drink which I also won't accept. He says its not fair for me to ask him to give up the thing he enjoys if I won't give up socially drinking martinis.
How can I respond in a way that will make sense to him? Obviously the way I am explaining it is not getting through to him.
Thanks
He got a can of dip as a joke from a friend for his birthday last year and he asked if he could just use this one can and I said OK as long as it was just this one can. Huge mistake. Now it has just been causing problems ever since.
He just uses the excuse "it's my vice, everyone has a vice." I explain that he has an ADDICTION not a vice. I drink martinis a few times a week. THATS a vice. I told him I don't mind if he drinks or even smokes pot. It's not the idea of a vice I have issues with- its his specific vice I have problems with.
He just says " If you can drink then I can chew" or he says " I'll dip casually when you drink". HE DOESN'T GET IT! I try explaining they are NOT the same thing! Even keeping that stuff in your mouth for 3 hours a week is BAD FOR YOU. It is not equivalent to having a martini or two!
An addict can't ever smoke/drink casually once they have had an established addiction. Thats the reason an alcoholic has to give up alcohol forever if they ever want to recover. Once they have been an alcoholic they can't ever just "drink casually" because their brain chemistry reacts differently to alcohol.
When you talk to a true recovered smoker they say things like " I haven't had a cigarette in 15 years" they don't say " I quit smoking but I still smoke two or three times a week." Thats bullshit!
Sorry for the venting but I just want advice on how to counter his argument. He says he'll give up dipping if I give up drinking. Or he will dip when I drink which I also won't accept. He says its not fair for me to ask him to give up the thing he enjoys if I won't give up socially drinking martinis.
How can I respond in a way that will make sense to him? Obviously the way I am explaining it is not getting through to him.
Thanks