How can I identify sexual abuse...my 3yr old niece is complaining of pain...

[Holly]

...in her genital area.? Okay....so let me first say that I am not making accusations. My niece has made a comment to my mother and younger sister that concerns me. I need help interpreting what is going on. Any help is very much appreciated.

My niece approached my mother randomly in Dec. saying that her missy (vagina) hurt. My mom asked her why, she said "Daddy poked me and it was sharp". My mom then asked her where daddy poked her...she said "in my missy, I cried and daddy stopped." My mom then asked her the next day while watching her if her missy hurt. She said no, but did say that her daddy did hurt her missy with a sharp nail.

I have no idea what to make of all of this. My mother never said anything to my sister because at the time my moms relationship with my sister was rocky and she didn't want to make anything worse, or have my sister think that my mom was making false accusations or purposely causing problems.

My sister has made mention to both myself and my mom that her 3yr old daughter has been complaining for months (since Dec) about her genital area hurting. She also cries when urinating, and my sister has also discovered some sort of infection. My niece has also become more aggressive and hits things like the walls. She is generally a laid back child. I know that toddlers tend to throw fits when they don't get their way...but my sister has said that its been really bad. They don't discipline by spanking so she thinks that she may have picked this up from somewhere else. Maybe her aggression comes from having a new sister...she is 8mon old now. Any thoughts?

I am trying to think positive because I know my brother in law...he is a good father and is always nurturing to his children. This has been on going for 3 months now...what are the correct assumptions should I make? Im trying to think of my own child. He is 16 mon and he crys sometimes when I am changing him especially if he has a diaper rash. My niece has been semi potty trained now for a couple of months...so Im just not sure what to think.

My biggest fear is going to my sister...I DO NOT want to destroy a family over something that was misinterpreted...

......something that could have been something any parent has dealt with...such as diaper rash or accidentally scratching your child while changing them or bathing them. I couldn't imagine how it would feel if someone thought that myself or my husband was sexually abusing my son because he said his pee-pee hurt because i scratched him during a diaper change or something...let alone my sister thinking the worst.

I am heartbroken over this...and I really need some input. I am watching my niece next week and I want to gently ask her non-leading questions as to whats going on. Any Suggestions??? Realistically what else could be going on with her? Medically?

Thank you ~Concerned Aunt

 

[chittychittybangbang1]

First I want to say that it is very appropriate of you to be thinking this. It's also shows you're a good aunt. Let me also say that no one here can give you enough information. So go to your sister, and tell her what you think. But also tell her that it could very well be a misunderstanding. Just make sure to communicate with her like you did with us.

And Don't worry. No matter what it's good your concerned.

 

[joelle]

I am not a mother but I have had younger sibblings whom I have changed and taken care of. I havent come across this problem and from my point of view it sounds like something is wrong. Try to get somemore out of your niece like what time of day it happened and details like that could lead to an assumption. If worse comes to worse and you dont know, then just tell your sister what your niece said about the dad and see what she does.

 

[Caysters]

I would definitely take the word of your baby niece. Children really don't make up those type of things unless provoked and prompted by someone else.
I would take her to a doctor and have them check her out. They could potentially tell if she has at one point been touched inappropriately.
Honestly, if my daughter were to pretty much tell me "Daddy poked me there" then I would be a bit worried.
My sister was a babysitter for a young boy. He came up to her saying "My peepee hurts." My sister told his mom what he said, and his mom talked to him and asked him what he said to my sister. He said "Mommy, my peepee hurts." It turns out that the babysitter that just quit a very short time before had been molesting him.
Children that age as I said, don't normally lie about things like that.
While it could have been an accident, I would honestly put the safety of my child ahead of my fears of upsetting my husband and would both confront him and would take her to a doctor and have her checked out.

 

[ChomïmHeemmmmmmmm]

When I was 7 I had pain whenever I had to go to the washroom down there. I was scared to go pee because of the pain. I went to the doctor and got some kind of medical creme to rub down there and it worked. It may be an infection if she doesn't wipe herself properly. Go to the doctor. You never know until the doctor tells you.


your family needs counselling..the dad is a pedophile.