How can I strengthen my introduction for my personal statement?

kate

Member
Here's my intro:

My junior year, I was sitting in neuropsychology, taught by my favorite professor, Dr. David Abwender, and I thought to myself, “This is what I want to do.” Since high school, I had only a vague idea of what I wanted to do, something in psychology. When I took neuropsychology, something hit me. For the first time, I was enthralled in every second of one of my classes.
 
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