How do I discuss budgeting with a spouse who has different views on money?

crafty

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My husband and I are nearly $10,000 in debt. Due to job loss, we have been living with my parents for over a year. I was raised to believe that you don't spend money you don't have. My husband was raised by a compulsive gambler and believes that the money will always be there when you need it, even after this past year that has proved otherwise! For the most part, we have been able to pay our bills, but recently have had to borrow more and more money from my parents. Thanks to a new job, we should actually be able to pay our bills and possibly even get ahead. However, as an example, last week I had to borrow $60.00 from my parents to pay a bill. Two days later, my husband got an advance at work so he could buy a dvd player. He disagrees with me that advances are like credit- you're spending money that isn't yours yet. I am frustrated and angry and don't know how to discuss budgeting with him. I am tired of mooching off my parents while he blows money. I don't want to be a money nanny to my husband, but it's hard not to worry when the debt we are in is from him buying things we didn't need and not paying more than the minimum payment because he wanted to buy something else. I wouldn't mind him having an "allowance" each month that he can spend on whatever he wants, as long as he understands that once its' gone, its' gone. But I don't know how to express that to him without him feeling like I am lecturing him or trying to control the money.
 
I am sorry to tell you, you have a marriage problem, that is reflected in your money problems. Your husband is not manning up, and is taking advantage of you and your parents. If he refuses to sit down with you and talk seriously about the budget and mooching he is doing, I am afraid you two will not last. Mark my words, don't just blow mw off.

Your response to him is that since he fails to meet he obligation as a husband, provider, and adult, he can go live with his parents until he comes to his senses about being a man. You did not marry a boy, and you and your parents are not his mommy. So get out, grow up, and stay away until he will resolve his stupid and selfish behavior. In the mean time, bless your parents, who probably want to say something, but won't because they are nice people and your loving parents.
 
I am sorry to tell you, you have a marriage problem, that is reflected in your money problems. Your husband is not manning up, and is taking advantage of you and your parents. If he refuses to sit down with you and talk seriously about the budget and mooching he is doing, I am afraid you two will not last. Mark my words, don't just blow mw off.

Your response to him is that since he fails to meet he obligation as a husband, provider, and adult, he can go live with his parents until he comes to his senses about being a man. You did not marry a boy, and you and your parents are not his mommy. So get out, grow up, and stay away until he will resolve his stupid and selfish behavior. In the mean time, bless your parents, who probably want to say something, but won't because they are nice people and your loving parents.
 
You both see a professional Finance Counselor. You do not have the backbone to cure him of his spending habits. Your husband has no pride. He is living with his in laws, borrowing money to pay bills but has no qualms about buying a DVD player.
 
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