...please read? My sister has a boyfriend who lied about being married when they first started dated. He told her 9 months later that he had been divorced. He has 3 kids, the first kid is 12, second is 10 and the third is 4 years old. The first and last child were accidents and when my sister began dating his four year old was only 2 years old.
Ok, before my sister found out the lie, I had done my own investigation about him online. I checked to see if he was divorced and found out he was married. I told my sister and she was like no he is divorced and I proved it to her with the court document online that they are still married.
So, as I researched the court docs I found he has major criminal records such as robbery, not paying rent, renting a tv and not paying for it and 2 counts of domestic violence... I had known his brother was in jail for something extremely major such as battery to the 1st degree and other horrible things.
I confronted my sister about how he is earlier this year and she was angry at me. Somehow throughout time, it evolved that I am prejudice against him because he is black. This is at least how he sees everything.
So, months later I decided to begin to support my sister and accept her relationship because I want her to be happy. She knows now that she can talk to me about anything and everything. She knows that I have put her boyfriends past mistakes behind and she wanted me and my other sister to meet him for the first time.
So, the other night my sister was so excited that we were going to meet her boyfriend. So, we got to her house and were waiting for her boyfriend to arrive. We were all excited about the night and that we were all going to be together. Well, when her boyfriend came in we both were like "Hi, it is so nice to meet you". He was very, over the top friendly with us too but no more than one second of saying hello he sat down and began to drill my sister and I about diversity and racism. Please understand that my sister had nothing to do with the background checks on the boyfriend, that was just me. Anyways, he basically was calling my family a backwards "1940s racist family". He went on and on for about 2 hours and talked the entire time about race. Finally, my sister (not the one dating him) said "You know, lets get to know each other like we planned and have fun" The boyfriend said "But dont you want to continue this conversation". My sister was like well yeah but lets go out to eat like we planned and get to know eachother.
My sister dating this guy never said a word the entire time he was calling my family racist and not accepting to black people. I was so overwhelmed by his comments and how he was judging us, mind you my other sister was not involved in the background check. Yes my family has a problem with this guy because he lied about being divorced, has three kids, criminal record, not college educated, lied about going to college, brother in jail.... My family is highly educated and my sister has a great job while this guy is working minimum wage jobs at the age of 33 and has 3 kids.
At dinner, my other sister pushed the conversation away from race but I was so not interested in this guy at this point but acted like everything is ok because I do not want to upset my sister who loves him.
I was just confused as why he blasted my sister and I about our family and basically talking to us about diversity. What he does not know about my sister and I is our major diversity and I did not feel like it was necessary to tell him anything because I feel like he is the ignorant one. He made comments like this "I have all kinds of friends, white, chinese, french, black" Ok, I hope that he wasnt referring to all Asians as Chinese. He even said that because he grew up in all white schools so he is diverse but at the same time he said how racist his teachers were to him. Ok, so I have had MANY problems with black people before but I would not tell that to his face like he was telling me all of these stories. I just thought he was too overwhelming to go straight into lectures about diversity when I as well as my entire family are educated and have traveled the world. In fact, my friends are from all over the world, my boyfriend is from Mexico... He did not take the time to get to know me to see who my friends are or anything.
Other comments he made "Rich whites driving mercedes and living in nice neighborhoods" This comment referenced my family. "Rich white girls driving mustangs" I felt like he was targeting me by this comment.
What do you think about this guy? My sister who is dating him was upset when I told her privately that he made us feel very uncomfortable. She is so naive and I feel this guy is brainwashing her, I mean come on he was dissing her family!!!! My sister told me that he just had to get that off his chest and I told her but yeah we just met him and we were meeting him to show our support for them.
B
Was it inappropriate for this guy to drill my sister and I when we are totally supportive to their relationship? He was in a serious lecture and was telling us that he is a nice guy and that "we" are the first people to ever think otherwise (really, at age 33 we are the 1st people to not like him?) Then he said that his kid said "Daddy, everyone must love you" He told us, "Do you know how difficult it was to not answer my own kid because not EVERYONE loves me?" Ok, this kid does not know about my sister or her family, come on!!!!! He thinks we are stupid!! Is he manipulative and what should I do about my sis, she loves him and wants our full support but it is hard because he seems shady to our entire family, meeting him makes it worse.
Ok, before my sister found out the lie, I had done my own investigation about him online. I checked to see if he was divorced and found out he was married. I told my sister and she was like no he is divorced and I proved it to her with the court document online that they are still married.
So, as I researched the court docs I found he has major criminal records such as robbery, not paying rent, renting a tv and not paying for it and 2 counts of domestic violence... I had known his brother was in jail for something extremely major such as battery to the 1st degree and other horrible things.
I confronted my sister about how he is earlier this year and she was angry at me. Somehow throughout time, it evolved that I am prejudice against him because he is black. This is at least how he sees everything.
So, months later I decided to begin to support my sister and accept her relationship because I want her to be happy. She knows now that she can talk to me about anything and everything. She knows that I have put her boyfriends past mistakes behind and she wanted me and my other sister to meet him for the first time.
So, the other night my sister was so excited that we were going to meet her boyfriend. So, we got to her house and were waiting for her boyfriend to arrive. We were all excited about the night and that we were all going to be together. Well, when her boyfriend came in we both were like "Hi, it is so nice to meet you". He was very, over the top friendly with us too but no more than one second of saying hello he sat down and began to drill my sister and I about diversity and racism. Please understand that my sister had nothing to do with the background checks on the boyfriend, that was just me. Anyways, he basically was calling my family a backwards "1940s racist family". He went on and on for about 2 hours and talked the entire time about race. Finally, my sister (not the one dating him) said "You know, lets get to know each other like we planned and have fun" The boyfriend said "But dont you want to continue this conversation". My sister was like well yeah but lets go out to eat like we planned and get to know eachother.
My sister dating this guy never said a word the entire time he was calling my family racist and not accepting to black people. I was so overwhelmed by his comments and how he was judging us, mind you my other sister was not involved in the background check. Yes my family has a problem with this guy because he lied about being divorced, has three kids, criminal record, not college educated, lied about going to college, brother in jail.... My family is highly educated and my sister has a great job while this guy is working minimum wage jobs at the age of 33 and has 3 kids.
At dinner, my other sister pushed the conversation away from race but I was so not interested in this guy at this point but acted like everything is ok because I do not want to upset my sister who loves him.
I was just confused as why he blasted my sister and I about our family and basically talking to us about diversity. What he does not know about my sister and I is our major diversity and I did not feel like it was necessary to tell him anything because I feel like he is the ignorant one. He made comments like this "I have all kinds of friends, white, chinese, french, black" Ok, I hope that he wasnt referring to all Asians as Chinese. He even said that because he grew up in all white schools so he is diverse but at the same time he said how racist his teachers were to him. Ok, so I have had MANY problems with black people before but I would not tell that to his face like he was telling me all of these stories. I just thought he was too overwhelming to go straight into lectures about diversity when I as well as my entire family are educated and have traveled the world. In fact, my friends are from all over the world, my boyfriend is from Mexico... He did not take the time to get to know me to see who my friends are or anything.
Other comments he made "Rich whites driving mercedes and living in nice neighborhoods" This comment referenced my family. "Rich white girls driving mustangs" I felt like he was targeting me by this comment.
What do you think about this guy? My sister who is dating him was upset when I told her privately that he made us feel very uncomfortable. She is so naive and I feel this guy is brainwashing her, I mean come on he was dissing her family!!!! My sister told me that he just had to get that off his chest and I told her but yeah we just met him and we were meeting him to show our support for them.
B
Was it inappropriate for this guy to drill my sister and I when we are totally supportive to their relationship? He was in a serious lecture and was telling us that he is a nice guy and that "we" are the first people to ever think otherwise (really, at age 33 we are the 1st people to not like him?) Then he said that his kid said "Daddy, everyone must love you" He told us, "Do you know how difficult it was to not answer my own kid because not EVERYONE loves me?" Ok, this kid does not know about my sister or her family, come on!!!!! He thinks we are stupid!! Is he manipulative and what should I do about my sis, she loves him and wants our full support but it is hard because he seems shady to our entire family, meeting him makes it worse.