How does this sound for an essay introduction?

MaxSegal

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Today, we are struck with a reality that makes our greater area’s citizens seem disconnected and dim – a modern reflection of a monarch who cannot understand the plights of his people. Our area is suffering through one main problem: the racial separation in this city has caused each race to create hubs for themselves, and only a select few residents of these hubs have decided to expand their horizons and further their social interaction to areas of the Metropolitan area where no member of their community has been before. This happening created an unneeded tone of classism, segregation, and ethnic tension to our abode’s image. And though we cannot rely on a speedy end to this problem, we can pillar the solution on young businesspeople, new liberal, local governments, and the support of all elements of our community. The way we can do this is by venturing portions of each district into neighborhoods which have no connection with the first, one aspect of everyday life at a time.

Oh, just to clarify, I'm 14.
 
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